Saturday, September 6, 2008

8. a little weary

Now this might sound completely heartless, but there’s no point in me blogging my true love story and then lying about the harsh details.

I drove away from now X-boyfriend, switched on my phone and carried on crying as I opened a message from Beautiful Boy. “Need some comic relief? I have just the solution for you! Beautiful Boy is available next week on Monday through Sunday. Please book ahead to avoid disappointment. ;-)”

I’d just broken someone’s heart. I felt so guilty. As if all I deserved was to drive home and spend a week crying by myself before I’d be allowed to see anyone or carry on with my life in any way. Surely I wasn’t allowed to smile like this? Surely I wasn’t allowed to call his number? But I did.

He answered immediately, expectant and excited, a little weary. We talked for a while, but I can’t remember a word we said. I felt so disconnected from myself, my wishes, my needs, I just wanted someone to tell me what to do. He told to come see him, that we would talk. At the end of the phone call, all I knew was that I was driving towards my friend, the Beautiful Boy.


babypicturethis said...

Sexyredframe.. I just wanted to tell you that the the last time I checked your blog you hadn't written anything... And now? I've just spent the past 20 mins reading your posts.. You write so beautifully.

Your love story is so beautiful (and it's only the beggining!) and heartfelt and real... It feels like what happened was meant to be.. If that makes sense?

Anyway, can't wait to read more!

redframe said...

thank you bpt! we have a saying in Afrikaans that your mouth will speak what your heart is filled with... (hard to translate) but yes, once i started telling our story, i could not stop!

Guilty Secret said...

When I split up with my ex-boyfriend, I jumped straight into bed with my best friend at the time. (Turned out to be a big mistake, but that's another story.) I asked myself why I didn't feel terrible. I think that the answer was that I was over the relationship, the boyfriend, long before I had the guts to finish it.

Oh you just gave me the most wonderful thought and I must go write about it but I'll be back later to read on!

Charlie said...

Love the harsh details.

redframe said...

GS, I got so excited that you got excited and it inspired your post! There is certainly a lot to be read into "rebound" relationships, another topic we'll keep on the back burner!

Charlie, no point in half truths.