Now this might sound completely heartless, but there’s no point in me blogging my true love story and then lying about the harsh details.
I drove away from now X-boyfriend, switched on my phone and carried on crying as I opened a message from Beautiful Boy. “Need some comic relief? I have just the solution for you! Beautiful Boy is available next week on Monday through Sunday. Please book ahead to avoid disappointment. ;-)”
I’d just broken someone’s heart. I felt so guilty. As if all I deserved was to drive home and spend a week crying by myself before I’d be allowed to see anyone or carry on with my life in any way. Surely I wasn’t allowed to smile like this? Surely I wasn’t allowed to call his number? But I did.
He answered immediately, expectant and excited, a little weary. We talked for a while, but I can’t remember a word we said. I felt so disconnected from myself, my wishes, my needs, I just wanted someone to tell me what to do. He told to come see him, that we would talk. At the end of the phone call, all I knew was that I was driving towards my friend, the Beautiful Boy.