Monday, September 15, 2008

15. airport

The day Boy left, we were wide-eyed and nervous, but also giggly and excited. We held hands and kissed non-stop, wishing each other the best and happiest times. Our plan of action was to wave goodbye, keep in touch and live contented, joyful lives until our paths may cross again.

I urged him to give sexy Senoritas and flirty Mademoiselles a chance, as I was rather excited about my own single status, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY ADULT LIFE. The feeling was enormous. Daunting and delicious, empowering and tremendously scary all at the same time.

We kissed goodbye, one last time, smiled and waved and blew kisses at each other until he disappeared through the security gates.

I threw myself into an eventful new life, keeping endlessly busy. During the day there was work and admin, clearing out and redecorating my apartment, sorting out insurance and bills and changing everything back to my own name. I felt sure and strong, independent and capable.

After work I could surround myself with family and friends, or even more indulgently, just be home alone and do whatever the hell I wanted. It was enormously gratifying to pig out on pizza and watch Sex & The City box sets till 3 in the morning, just because I could. I embraced my single life and found immense happiness in it.

15 comments:

Julia said...

Hi! was directed here by the fabulous Peonies and Polaroids blog... am completely hooked! your writing style is gorgeous and I cannot WAIT to hear what happends next!!!!

Cate Subrosa said...

Oh... I thought you were going to go with him. Interesting twist...

Kim said...

Box set's of Sex and the City - that sounds truly marvelous - you must have missed the beautiful boy - Did he stay in contact?? Sorry, I suppose I am jumping the gun here! ;-)I will just stay tuned!!

BB said...

this story seems to have never-ending twists and turns...

this could be a movie!

(still waiting to see whether it ends as well as it started)

Modelmental said...

julia thank you! i adore peonies and can't believe how she's plugged little old me!

gs... yep. can you believe it. like i said, i always do the right thing. (easily confused with the boring thing, the dull thing and sometimes even the wrong thing?)

dt, every woman deserves her own box set of the entire 6 series! it can completely replace a man / a relationship / a life for at least a couple of weeks! stay tuned!!!!

Modelmental said...

bb, the best part of this "movie" is that it is all entirely true. i still pinch myself sometimes... as for the good ending, there are many interpretations of good right?
hie hie - cliff hanger...

Rachel said...

wow, there's more??!

east side bride said...

Whoa I'm hooked. Maybe I better start at the beginning...

Anonymous said...

Oh man do I know this feeling. Every bit of it. There's something about new freedom after a breakup . . . you wonder if it will be your last time to feel that kind of freedom because what if your next relationship is "it" ? Oh, it's so wonderful . . . and i'm eager to keep reading!!

Em

Mrs T said...

Sex in the city till three am. I LOVE you.

Modelmental said...

Rachel, more and more and yet some more. Hope you have some time to kill!

East side bride, thanks for coming! I love your blog!

Em, isn't it crazy that I only experienced that newly single feeling about twice in my life?!?! It was a growth experience for sure.

Charlie, I think I actually made it till like 4.45 one night... Freak? x

Helen said...

Though I never did sex and the city - I've done this too till 5am then working at 8.30 - I can't beleive you're writing my life down!

Modelmental said...

welcome helen! i also love finding a blog that could be me talking! what's scary / amazing / wonderful is how many of them i've found! the human condition hey, we all suffer from it.

cara said...

I thought you were going too! Now I have no idea what's going to happen.... I guess I will soon though!

I've never read a blog where I've been desperately trying to guess the next post before it arrives before!

You've got the suspense skills!

Modelmental said...

Peonies, it's so funny to me that readers thought I would go. I never intentionally made it sound that way and I obviously know I didn't... I love it though! Secret suspense skills, must be that muse again.