Monday, September 29, 2008

29. tall and fragrant

The day arrived and we made it to Vegas! Lala and I were on separate flights, so she would meet Boy at the airport, they’d go ahead to the hotel, and when I arrived I’d find my own way there. I remember waiting for my luggage and wistfully thinking it would’ve been nice, though unnecessary, if Boy came back to the airport to get me. Just then I felt strong arms surround me as someone tall and fragrant nuzzled my neck.

And no, it wasn’t a baggage handler! What a man! I need only think a silly, spoilt, indulgent thought and there the Beautiful Boy appeared. He said the half hour trip in the taxi was precious time we could spend together. Ugh, I loved this man?

Ironically, the week in Vegas was the sanest, steadiest, most ordinary time we’d ever had together. Our suite was our home and Lala lived next door. We went grocery shopping and we cooked, we had cereal for breakfast and went out to dinner. We swam every day, saw the sites and did some outlet shopping. Sure, this was Vegas, so we went out a couple of nights, gambled a bit and saw a few clubs but mostly we had a laid-back chilled-out week just being together.

And it was wonderful. More wonderful, satisfying and serene than I ever knew it could be. I find it hard to describe the sense of wonder I experienced to anyone who’d never been in an entirely mismatched relationship. How the wrong personalities together just suck the energy out of both. How mind-numbingly, heart-breakingly depressing life can be when your every thought, every wish, every decision is analysed, criticised, taken apart and denied.

11 comments:

Gossip. Style. Wed. said...

Oh, I do love your blog! Just became a reader and I'm so happy I didn't have to read in real-time up until this moment! I cannot wait to hear what happens next.

Catherine Blake said...

How mind-numbingly, heart-breakingly depressing life can be when your every thought, every wish, every decision is analysed, criticised, taken apart and denied.

I understand this exactly.

I just discovered your blogs a week ago and spent the weekend catching up. I love your ability to write in a way that reveals yet suspends.

Looking forward to the next!

redframe said...

gossip, welcome! just been to yours, loving it! stay tuned...

catherine, thank you so much for understanding and for the great compliment, I never thought I could be suspenseful!
i'm sorry that you know what that feels like, no-one deserves that... hope you're in a better situation now?

Jules said...

Oh yes. I understand completely what you mean about the difference between a mismatched relationship and the real thing. I'm just so happy for you!

Catherine Blake said...

Absolutely. Even though my toxic relationship only lasted 3 years (which is nothing compared to 10!) I spent 3 years growing and am now in a perfect relationship.

Like you, I didn't feel I deserved it for the first couple of months. Some people are just kinder than others and sometimes people have better chemistry than other couples. And I've learned to accept happiness now!

melissa said...

I was going to highlight the line that catherine did... I had a friend in a relationship like that for the last year of it. She finally got the hell out.

Actually... my and my husband's relationship was like that for a while in our mid-20's. We changed it though. We're weird like that. ;)

I'm doing the 5 things I love about my country post tonight!

Peonies and Polaroids said...

What a lovely boy! My boy is tall and fragrant too. Fragrant in a good way!

redframe said...

jules, thanks, i was happy for myself too!

catherine, cheers to that. i don't know why some of us don't know that we all deserve happiness...

melissa, glad for your friend and super happy for you. i know it is possible to make it right when the intentions are there and good. i think that's why i stuck it out for so long, i knew it could be so much better.

peonies, ah fragrant men... can fragrant mean badly fragrant too? oops didn't know that, bb was definitely in the good way!

Guilty Secret said...

Ditto Catherine and others, that line stood out for me. You have this way of hitting the nail right on the head, which I just love.

Being Brazen said...

I loved Vegas when i went..sounds like you had an awesome trip

redframe said...

GS, you guys are the greatest. Just when I'm not loving my latest post or my language feels inadequate you say something lovely like that!

Brazen, gotta love the lv man. I'm done now though, no need to ever go back, I think?