Tuesday, September 9, 2008

14. say yes

To put the European dilemma in perspective, I am a very good girl.
I always do the right thing.
I am conscientious, responsible, reliable to a fault.
I wouldn’t even dream of ditching my job and running off into the Mediterranean sunset with Beautiful Boy. Even though my job was certainly not a career and only part-time and something I was doing for fun. I felt compelled to stay here and figure out my life post-Ex and Boy had to go and have fun and we’d catch up some other time. That’s what we said.

The weekend before Boy left we went on a road trip, just the two of us. It was winter, cool and rainy. We drove for hours, talking non-stop, dissecting and discarding the possibility of a long-distance relationship. Boy had tried it before and didn’t think it could work in general. I didn’t feel ready for any kind of relationship, never mind one that had the added pressures, insecurity and longing of a million miles between us. So it was decided.

We loved each other. Yes, we’d been using the L-word since about week 2 and we honestly meant it. We were superbly well suited to each other. We had the most fun together. We potentially had a wonderful future together. But.

But right now Boy had to go, and I had to stay.

So he’d go and I’d stay and we’d live and love and learn and be single and keep in touch and then maybe one day, when he moved back here, he could ask me out for drinks and I could say yes…


suga-licious said...

goodness gracious, this site rocks!

redframe said...

bless you suga-licious! how about venturing a post on scoop? saffers got a lot to say you know! please come back soon.

Guilty Secret said...

Oh no, I can't believe I've reached the end! You must write more! :-D

Anonymous said...

No! I so wanted you to go-even as crazy as that would have been.

Charlie said...

Maybe you needed the space. To sort through the past ten years. To get some perspective.

But I still wanted you to GO with him. Life is so short.

redframe said...

GS, I felt so guilty when I left you hanging... Manually cleaned my computer's fan today so tech issues should be sorted!

Mrs S and Charlie, I KNOW! Life is short. I always wish I would be more impulsive, spontaneous... working on it!