To put the European dilemma in perspective, I am a very good girl.
I always do the right thing.
I am conscientious, responsible, reliable to a fault.
I wouldn’t even dream of ditching my job and running off into the Mediterranean sunset with Beautiful Boy. Even though my job was certainly not a career and only part-time and something I was doing for fun. I felt compelled to stay here and figure out my life post-Ex and Boy had to go and have fun and we’d catch up some other time. That’s what we said.
The weekend before Boy left we went on a road trip, just the two of us. It was winter, cool and rainy. We drove for hours, talking non-stop, dissecting and discarding the possibility of a long-distance relationship. Boy had tried it before and didn’t think it could work in general. I didn’t feel ready for any kind of relationship, never mind one that had the added pressures, insecurity and longing of a million miles between us. So it was decided.
We loved each other. Yes, we’d been using the L-word since about week 2 and we honestly meant it. We were superbly well suited to each other. We had the most fun together. We potentially had a wonderful future together. But.
But right now Boy had to go, and I had to stay.
So he’d go and I’d stay and we’d live and love and learn and be single and keep in touch and then maybe one day, when he moved back here, he could ask me out for drinks and I could say yes…