I've been completely calm, so calm I fell asleep during my mani/pedi this morning!
Now that I'm sitting here writing the final post before the day, I can hardly type... Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
See you on the other side.
Eek.
Showing posts with label wedding planning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding planning. Show all posts
Friday, November 21, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
the wedding: super quick update!
Hello blogosphere, how I miss you!
Sorry it's been so long?
BB is snoring cutely upstairs and I finally have half an hour to myself so here I am, forgive my absence!
The past week has just flown by in a blur of happy activity.
I had my hen night, the best night out of my life, it was fantastic. Embarrassing pictures later!
And then so many of our friends who live far away have arrived in town and now it's daily breakfasts and shopping and lunches and wine tours and sun-downers and dinners and on and on and on...
BB and I really miss our copious amounts of alone-time together, but also realise that there will be years and years for that, so we're living it up and absolutely adoring having so many fabulous people gathered for this celebration of ours.
Monday night I finally had all my bridesmaids together in their entirely individual black dresses and they looked so uber-stylish and drop dead gorgeous, every one of them, it was too exciting!
Arrangements have moved along steadily enough, hiccups and surprises galore but I've just been in the most zen-like state of calm, peace and pure joy, nothing gets me under.
I thank the wedding gods for this state of grace, I swear I'm not even on the Calmettes (yet!). I actually think it's from reading on so many blogs how important it is to maintain focus on the true priorities of the day and not sweat the small useless stuff you can't control anyway? Either way, it's working like a charm and I am an ecstatic bride-to-be!
Things that went wrong:
Darling photographer cancelled our venue recce, was not impressed but it will be fine, he'll come early and do it on the day.
Dear friend of BB's brought an extra guest to stay, unannounced... Long story but we're coping well.
Dear family member of BB's has to go in for a hip operation today and won't make it to the wedding. (Best of luck and strength to her!)
2 Good friends' parents home was flooded in storms last week and they missed the hen night :-(
Storms last week! Crazy, heavy rain and insane winds... If my wedding was last weekend I just can't imagine how it would've been!
Things that are going right:
Weather forecast for Saturday looks just perfectly balmy, slight breeze, bit of cloud... exactly what I ordered!
My dress fits like a comfortable glove. An unbelievably beautiful, glamorous, ethereal, feminine glove.
My bridesmaids look amazing and have been getting on great.
Our lovely guests are making it such a fun week for us.
I can not wait to marry my man.
My man, my man, my man.
What a good man.
I love him!
To pieces.
Yay.
And here's just a sneak peek of some little sentimental pretties that might feature on Saturday!
I can't wait.
I CAN'T WAIT!
Sorry it's been so long?
BB is snoring cutely upstairs and I finally have half an hour to myself so here I am, forgive my absence!
The past week has just flown by in a blur of happy activity.
I had my hen night, the best night out of my life, it was fantastic. Embarrassing pictures later!
And then so many of our friends who live far away have arrived in town and now it's daily breakfasts and shopping and lunches and wine tours and sun-downers and dinners and on and on and on...
BB and I really miss our copious amounts of alone-time together, but also realise that there will be years and years for that, so we're living it up and absolutely adoring having so many fabulous people gathered for this celebration of ours.
Monday night I finally had all my bridesmaids together in their entirely individual black dresses and they looked so uber-stylish and drop dead gorgeous, every one of them, it was too exciting!
Arrangements have moved along steadily enough, hiccups and surprises galore but I've just been in the most zen-like state of calm, peace and pure joy, nothing gets me under.
I thank the wedding gods for this state of grace, I swear I'm not even on the Calmettes (yet!). I actually think it's from reading on so many blogs how important it is to maintain focus on the true priorities of the day and not sweat the small useless stuff you can't control anyway? Either way, it's working like a charm and I am an ecstatic bride-to-be!
Things that went wrong:
Darling photographer cancelled our venue recce, was not impressed but it will be fine, he'll come early and do it on the day.
Dear friend of BB's brought an extra guest to stay, unannounced... Long story but we're coping well.
Dear family member of BB's has to go in for a hip operation today and won't make it to the wedding. (Best of luck and strength to her!)
2 Good friends' parents home was flooded in storms last week and they missed the hen night :-(
Storms last week! Crazy, heavy rain and insane winds... If my wedding was last weekend I just can't imagine how it would've been!
Things that are going right:
Weather forecast for Saturday looks just perfectly balmy, slight breeze, bit of cloud... exactly what I ordered!
My dress fits like a comfortable glove. An unbelievably beautiful, glamorous, ethereal, feminine glove.
My bridesmaids look amazing and have been getting on great.
Our lovely guests are making it such a fun week for us.
I can not wait to marry my man.
My man, my man, my man.
What a good man.
I love him!
To pieces.
Yay.
And here's just a sneak peek of some little sentimental pretties that might feature on Saturday!
I can't wait.
I CAN'T WAIT!
Friday, November 7, 2008
the wedding: honeymoon
Here's a tip, free and for nothing. My favourite part of the wedding planning so far was researching, dreaming of and deciding on the honeymoon! It's my happy thought when I get down and the big pay off at the end of the year's work.
Of course I'm looking forward to the actual day and to marrying my wonderful man and I absolutely expect to have a brilliant wedding filled with meaning and love and all the things a wedding should be, but come on. Don't tell me two weeks in Bali is not something entirely different to look forward to? Yep, two weeks in Bali baby.
BB and I went through a whole virtual trip around the world together to get to Bali, and it was fantastic. I know a lot of grooms organise it all on their own and it's meant to remain their secret, but this was just too much fun for me not to participate.
Confession, when BB started muttering phrases including "hiking trips through the Amazon" and "climbing expeditions in Machu Picchu", I also felt compelled to intervene! I'd love to do something really adventurous, challenging and character forming like that one day, but not straight after the busiest year of my life, please?
In order to find a happy medium, we then investigated medium-adventure destinations like Costa Rica, Belize, Guatamala, Madagascar and such, but nothing seemed a perfect fit. We were also super keen to see Brazil but the travel agents we approached didn't seem very interested in helping us find anything out of the ordinary. No, they just kept pushing the same big resort, all-inclusive package deals to Mauritius, Seychelles and Thailand onto us... Fabulous vacations, I’m sure, but not what we were looking for.
So what were we looking for? We can be quite the picky couple let me tell you. I wanted: warm sun, mild sea, sandy beach, nice pool, a little luxury, some privacy, good food, shopping and the option to explore some night life. BB wanted mild weather, good swimming, tropical scenery, exotic culture, exploration, fab food and no anonymously huge hotels.
I spent days on tripadvisor and eventually we found the concept of Private Villas in Bali. You can get your own little one bedroom villa, with your own little pool in your own little backyard for the same price or less than the big resorts charge for just another room like any other. (You have to contact the villas though and check their package rates. Their advertised rates are much higher than what we paid!) My own pool? I don’t care if it’s the size of my living room rug, I like quaint and cosy, it’s my pool! I can lie around in tiny bikinis and roll into the pool and splash and play and do handstands and no one’s there to appreciate it except my new hubby? I was sold.
There are many different villa developments and each one is more luxurious than the next. When we contacted a few of them they offered us honeymoon packages and stay-longer specials and threw in massages and meals and day-trips and in the end we feel we got a fantastic deal on the perfect place for us.
It’s in Seminyak, the allegedly trendy, smart shopping/eating suburb neighbouring touristy Kuta and while it’s not on the beach, they do offer free transport around the area. We can go out to shop, eat, lie on the beach, sip cocktails and if the crowds get too much we can just retreat to our private haven. Sounds like heaven to me.
To satisfy BB’s more adventurous needs we’ll visit the markets, go snorkelling and parasailing, take a surfing lesson or two and maybe rent a moped to drive around the island. The last couple of nights aren’t booked yet, so we’ll pack up and try somewhere different then. Go inland to seek out more culture around Ubud in the rice paddies, or take a boat over to the pristine, car-free little island of Nusa Lembongan.
Oh goodness, can we get there already?
Oh, I nearly forgot. The catch.
Apart from the very reasonably priced accommodation, we also found fantastically cheap flights on Qatar Airways. I’ve flown with them before and they are a perfectly good airline. The only little niggle is that their flights are so cheap because they want to lure you into Doha, their capital. So all flights on Qatar Airways go through Doha, and the layover there is usually at least eight hours. When we first considered Qatar Airways, it was widely publicised that the airline will provide travellers on a long layover with a visa and hotel voucher. Perfect! We could spend the first day on honeymoon shopping in their humongous malls or chilling by a nice hotel pool!
We booked our flights. All was set. Then I discovered a few more recent posts on tripadvisor forums describing how only certain passport holders are now allowed to obtain visas to enter Qatar and as usual, South Africans are not on this lucky list. When I phoned Qatar Airways to get confirmation, they told me that we could only obtain Qatar visas by booking accommodation at a four or five star hotel in Doha. Our layover is actually during the daytime, so we just don’t feel it’s worth spending the money on an expensive room in Doha, when we’d be out and about anyway. Not to mention that those Riyals will be worth a fortune in Balinese Rupiahs!
So our first day on honeymoon will look something like this:
Except we can't leave the airport, so really more like this:
Which is not the end of the world, as we’ll finally get to this:
Oh, I feel so much better already.
Of course I'm looking forward to the actual day and to marrying my wonderful man and I absolutely expect to have a brilliant wedding filled with meaning and love and all the things a wedding should be, but come on. Don't tell me two weeks in Bali is not something entirely different to look forward to? Yep, two weeks in Bali baby.
BB and I went through a whole virtual trip around the world together to get to Bali, and it was fantastic. I know a lot of grooms organise it all on their own and it's meant to remain their secret, but this was just too much fun for me not to participate.
Confession, when BB started muttering phrases including "hiking trips through the Amazon" and "climbing expeditions in Machu Picchu", I also felt compelled to intervene! I'd love to do something really adventurous, challenging and character forming like that one day, but not straight after the busiest year of my life, please?
In order to find a happy medium, we then investigated medium-adventure destinations like Costa Rica, Belize, Guatamala, Madagascar and such, but nothing seemed a perfect fit. We were also super keen to see Brazil but the travel agents we approached didn't seem very interested in helping us find anything out of the ordinary. No, they just kept pushing the same big resort, all-inclusive package deals to Mauritius, Seychelles and Thailand onto us... Fabulous vacations, I’m sure, but not what we were looking for.
So what were we looking for? We can be quite the picky couple let me tell you. I wanted: warm sun, mild sea, sandy beach, nice pool, a little luxury, some privacy, good food, shopping and the option to explore some night life. BB wanted mild weather, good swimming, tropical scenery, exotic culture, exploration, fab food and no anonymously huge hotels.
I spent days on tripadvisor and eventually we found the concept of Private Villas in Bali. You can get your own little one bedroom villa, with your own little pool in your own little backyard for the same price or less than the big resorts charge for just another room like any other. (You have to contact the villas though and check their package rates. Their advertised rates are much higher than what we paid!) My own pool? I don’t care if it’s the size of my living room rug, I like quaint and cosy, it’s my pool! I can lie around in tiny bikinis and roll into the pool and splash and play and do handstands and no one’s there to appreciate it except my new hubby? I was sold.
There are many different villa developments and each one is more luxurious than the next. When we contacted a few of them they offered us honeymoon packages and stay-longer specials and threw in massages and meals and day-trips and in the end we feel we got a fantastic deal on the perfect place for us.
It’s in Seminyak, the allegedly trendy, smart shopping/eating suburb neighbouring touristy Kuta and while it’s not on the beach, they do offer free transport around the area. We can go out to shop, eat, lie on the beach, sip cocktails and if the crowds get too much we can just retreat to our private haven. Sounds like heaven to me.
To satisfy BB’s more adventurous needs we’ll visit the markets, go snorkelling and parasailing, take a surfing lesson or two and maybe rent a moped to drive around the island. The last couple of nights aren’t booked yet, so we’ll pack up and try somewhere different then. Go inland to seek out more culture around Ubud in the rice paddies, or take a boat over to the pristine, car-free little island of Nusa Lembongan.
Oh goodness, can we get there already?
Oh, I nearly forgot. The catch.
Apart from the very reasonably priced accommodation, we also found fantastically cheap flights on Qatar Airways. I’ve flown with them before and they are a perfectly good airline. The only little niggle is that their flights are so cheap because they want to lure you into Doha, their capital. So all flights on Qatar Airways go through Doha, and the layover there is usually at least eight hours. When we first considered Qatar Airways, it was widely publicised that the airline will provide travellers on a long layover with a visa and hotel voucher. Perfect! We could spend the first day on honeymoon shopping in their humongous malls or chilling by a nice hotel pool!
We booked our flights. All was set. Then I discovered a few more recent posts on tripadvisor forums describing how only certain passport holders are now allowed to obtain visas to enter Qatar and as usual, South Africans are not on this lucky list. When I phoned Qatar Airways to get confirmation, they told me that we could only obtain Qatar visas by booking accommodation at a four or five star hotel in Doha. Our layover is actually during the daytime, so we just don’t feel it’s worth spending the money on an expensive room in Doha, when we’d be out and about anyway. Not to mention that those Riyals will be worth a fortune in Balinese Rupiahs!
So our first day on honeymoon will look something like this:
Except we can't leave the airport, so really more like this:
Which is not the end of the world, as we’ll finally get to this:
Oh, I feel so much better already.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
the wedding: to-do list right now
I am a spoilt brat.
My life is just about as wonderful as anyone has a right to expect and yet I'm lazy and lethargic when I face my to-do list for the next sixteen days... This is compounded by the fact that I wanted all of this done before 1 November! Lovely bridesmaids and friends are arriving from all over the globe as we speak and I wanted to be free to spend as much time with them as possible!
Alas, it still remains to be done.
Dress: Fetch from BB's Grandmother
Shop for Underwear
Check Bridesmaids Accessories: Monday 17th
Confirm Best Men Outfits
Hotel: Book Friday night
Pay Saturday night & Food deposit
Napkins?
Ribbon?
Okasie: Get final quote & pay
Dancefloor: Lighting organise pick-up and drop-off
Wine: Choose and order white
Photography: Venue scout Thursday 13th
Finalise Shot List
Memorise Vows
Create Play by play
Create Bridal Party / Ushers’ to-do-lists
Create Supplier Instructions
Music: Finalise 3 Play Lists
Check Equipment
Check Veranda & Amphitheatre Sound
Cupcakes: Charly’s Bakery?
Denise Delights: Janine?
Cake stands?
Accommodation: Allocate Twin Rooms vs Double Rooms
I know, I know, there isn't that much to do, most of it is fun and Peonies can not believe that I haven't yet sorted or even investigated the cake situation.
I haven't. I thought I'd just buy some (very delicious) supermarket cupcakes and put them on plates. What can I say, I'm not a big cake person?
But now I'm on a mission to find one hundred 1. delicious 2. affordable 3. beautiful cupcakes to be ready for consumption on 22 November. Plus some gorgeous, individual, bargain cake stands to place them upon on said date. Should be a piece of cake, right? Wish me luck.
Hopefully this is just part of the come-down from the best birthday ever in the whole world? More positive, upbeat, excited post to follow tomorrow, promise. x
My life is just about as wonderful as anyone has a right to expect and yet I'm lazy and lethargic when I face my to-do list for the next sixteen days... This is compounded by the fact that I wanted all of this done before 1 November! Lovely bridesmaids and friends are arriving from all over the globe as we speak and I wanted to be free to spend as much time with them as possible!
Alas, it still remains to be done.
Dress: Fetch from BB's Grandmother
Shop for Underwear
Check Bridesmaids Accessories: Monday 17th
Confirm Best Men Outfits
Hotel: Book Friday night
Pay Saturday night & Food deposit
Napkins?
Ribbon?
Okasie: Get final quote & pay
Dancefloor: Lighting organise pick-up and drop-off
Wine: Choose and order white
Photography: Venue scout Thursday 13th
Finalise Shot List
Memorise Vows
Create Play by play
Create Bridal Party / Ushers’ to-do-lists
Create Supplier Instructions
Music: Finalise 3 Play Lists
Check Equipment
Check Veranda & Amphitheatre Sound
Cupcakes: Charly’s Bakery?
Denise Delights: Janine?
Cake stands?
Accommodation: Allocate Twin Rooms vs Double Rooms
I know, I know, there isn't that much to do, most of it is fun and Peonies can not believe that I haven't yet sorted or even investigated the cake situation.
I haven't. I thought I'd just buy some (very delicious) supermarket cupcakes and put them on plates. What can I say, I'm not a big cake person?
But now I'm on a mission to find one hundred 1. delicious 2. affordable 3. beautiful cupcakes to be ready for consumption on 22 November. Plus some gorgeous, individual, bargain cake stands to place them upon on said date. Should be a piece of cake, right? Wish me luck.
Hopefully this is just part of the come-down from the best birthday ever in the whole world? More positive, upbeat, excited post to follow tomorrow, promise. x
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
the wedding: groom’s outfit
WARNING: GRATUITOUS VISUALS OF MALE HOTNESS PRESENT IN THIS POST!!!
Guilty’s groom Baddie looks so hot in his wedding get-up, even without a head! BB’s look has been coming together quickly now, for which I’m ever so grateful. The man has style and good taste, obviously, but he was so adamant that he won’t wear a tie (of any sort or description) or a suit, and I was worried my dress would look OTT next to his casual cool self.
The tie story, BB owns two. Both are thin, cotton stripy ones that came with striped shirts in the same fabric and you wear the tie loosely. It’s kind of like an anti-tie. So even in his corporate business management line of work, this man refuses to be noosed. How can I then tell him he has to wear a long thin piece of fabric around his neck on our wedding day? I wouldn’t dare. Well, I just don’t care enough for ties.
So I was picturing something like this, and quite liked it.
Okay then I got completely side-tracked looking for my favourite famous hotties in suits without ties…
If only it wasn’t so hot, could I talk BB into a velvet suit?
Or wrap him up in a chic little scarf?
Then my darling BB dropped the interesting tit-bit that he’s also not really feeling a suit either. None of this bothered me in my initial country casual state of mind, but by the time I’d ordered my elaborately glamorous dress and the bridesmaids had gone shopping for black, I was wondering how this would pan out.
We thought about what BB likes to wear out to smart dinners and it’s usually a T-shirt with a smart pinstripe jacket. While I love him in this look, I really didn’t want to be standing at the altar in my fantabulous dress and he’s next to me in a T-shirt? A modicum of formal etiquette should be observed, we thought.
So BB will look something like these dashing men above, except we got him a crazy print shirt and he’s wearing his darkest navy blue Diesels. And grey shoes. And he’ll be a cool, suave rock star. With a wild floral shirt. Sigh, my Beautiful Boy. He is an original.
PS. I'm not going to get political or anything on this momentous day in US history, but this man rocks the no-tie look too:
(gobama!)
Guilty’s groom Baddie looks so hot in his wedding get-up, even without a head! BB’s look has been coming together quickly now, for which I’m ever so grateful. The man has style and good taste, obviously, but he was so adamant that he won’t wear a tie (of any sort or description) or a suit, and I was worried my dress would look OTT next to his casual cool self.
The tie story, BB owns two. Both are thin, cotton stripy ones that came with striped shirts in the same fabric and you wear the tie loosely. It’s kind of like an anti-tie. So even in his corporate business management line of work, this man refuses to be noosed. How can I then tell him he has to wear a long thin piece of fabric around his neck on our wedding day? I wouldn’t dare. Well, I just don’t care enough for ties.
So I was picturing something like this, and quite liked it.
Okay then I got completely side-tracked looking for my favourite famous hotties in suits without ties…
If only it wasn’t so hot, could I talk BB into a velvet suit?
Or wrap him up in a chic little scarf?
Then my darling BB dropped the interesting tit-bit that he’s also not really feeling a suit either. None of this bothered me in my initial country casual state of mind, but by the time I’d ordered my elaborately glamorous dress and the bridesmaids had gone shopping for black, I was wondering how this would pan out.
We thought about what BB likes to wear out to smart dinners and it’s usually a T-shirt with a smart pinstripe jacket. While I love him in this look, I really didn’t want to be standing at the altar in my fantabulous dress and he’s next to me in a T-shirt? A modicum of formal etiquette should be observed, we thought.
So BB will look something like these dashing men above, except we got him a crazy print shirt and he’s wearing his darkest navy blue Diesels. And grey shoes. And he’ll be a cool, suave rock star. With a wild floral shirt. Sigh, my Beautiful Boy. He is an original.
PS. I'm not going to get political or anything on this momentous day in US history, but this man rocks the no-tie look too:
(gobama!)
Monday, November 3, 2008
the wedding: make-up
All brides have their own priorities and private excitements when it comes to wedding fluff. You know the stuff that’s completely separate from the fact that you are making a sacred vow in front of God and all the people you care about to remain with one person for life, to love, honour and cherish them and make them banana milkshakes, or whatever? So my favourite fluff is: 1. My dress. 2. The bridesmaids and their outfits. 3. The hair and make-up. 4. The groom and groomsmen outfits. In other words, the fashion. This explains why the dress search turned into such a palaver, and why the following post constitutes my first rant.
I am in the fortunate position of knowing many professional make-up artists in Cape Town, so you’d think finding someone to prettify me on my wedding day would be a cinch. Ha, not so. You see, firstly, November is high season in the modelling industry in Cape Town, which means most fashion make-up artists don’t really do weddings at this time. I totally understand this, as I wouldn’t expect any freelance professional to give up the potential earnings of a five-day catalogue or advertising shoot in exchange for one day’s wedding rate. Secondly, a few of these fabulous face creators are my friends, so if they aren't invited to the wedding, I feel bad asking them work for me and if they are, I’d rather have them enjoy the day as guests.
Then in June I remembered SuperStylish, a friend of a friend (who happens to be my Ex’s best friend’s wife… complicated) who happens to be a brilliant make-up artist and adequate hair stylist. I had booked her for Jewel’s wedding last year and she did a fabulous job on both our faces. SS and I were more like acquaintances, never friends and her relation to my Ex is rather far removed so I was sure it would work out just fine.
I asked her and she replied so enthusiastically, saying she’d be honoured and I was happy as a clam. Then she also volunteered a friend of hers to do the bridesmaids’ make-up. The Friend owed her a favour and was going to drive with her and she was asking very little as payment. I was overjoyed.
In the mean time I saw SS a couple of times at the (Big Name) make-up store where she works. I always went to her when I wanted to treat myself to a little something and even took Nightingale there for a makeover for her birthday. I was excited and looking forward to my trial at the end of October.
Then came 18 September, and with it a message in my Facebook inbox. “Bad news and good news, I can’t do your make-up anymore but will recommend someone else at the same price” was the gist of it. At first I was calm and disbelieving, then it sank in and I was hurt and furious. It was two months before my wedding, two months before the height of modelling AND wedding season, and my “friend”/make-up artist/hair stylist just dropped me. She said that a closer friend of hers was now also getting married in November and as she would also be a guest at that wedding, she’d rather do the closer friend’s make-up. Working in retail, she’s not allowed more than one weekend off per month.
I had complete respect and sympathy for her plight, but this was surely not acceptable? I composed myself before I wrote back. Then I told her how very upset I was, that it was quite late in the day for her to be doing this and that I’d chosen her for various reasons; any old “recommendation” of hers would not do. (Argh, just reading through our mails of that time for reference is making me mad…)
She replied then that she was really sorry, she hadn’t thought of it from my perspective and had assumed that as I know so many make-up artists, it wouldn’t be an issue. She offered to try and take unpaid leave on my Saturday and all could go back to the original plan.
I thanked her and said I’d be ever so grateful, i.e. “It’s the fricking least you can do”! At this stage I was so sad and deflated, I wasn’t even sure I wanted her there on the day? Like a good little trooper I awaited her response, and days later she mails again, “Sorry, I’ve tried everything but I can’t help you out any more”. I cried out of frustration.
A little later I realised time was ticking and I’d better find someone else. I checked out the few girls she'd referred me to. I wasn’t blown away by any of them, they all do a classic “wedding face” and all their brides look the same. Blah. I got a quote from one or two and they were all charging quite a bit more than SS. So much for “at the same price”.
I left it and left it and couldn’t decide what to do. I tried a few fashion artists but as I’d suspected, they were already booked out on wedding / fashion shoots or not available for weddings.
One particularly lovely girl, Coolest, was genuinely shocked at the way SS had treated me, and as she was already booked for a wedding on my day, did her best to recommend other fab girls. I just couldn’t even feign interest. I was completely demotivated and disillusioned. I thought I’d just do it myself. Then Coolest mailed me again one day to see if I had found someone. “No,” I replied. “I can’t be bothered.” Coolest: “Here’s a funny thing. My bride on your day had her wedding cancelled. It’s actually quite sad, the groom broke it off. But it means I’m now available, should you still be interested.”
I know it’s terribly, horribly selfish and unkind of me, but I nearly jumped up and down for joy. Look, if that groom was leaving his bride a month before the wedding he’s no good for her anyway, right? She’s much better off without him, she dodged a bullet. AND I GET TO HAVE A FANTASTIC MAKE-UP ARTIST WHO’S EVEN BETTER THAN SS, AND WHOM I ACTUALLY KNOW, LIKE AND ADMIRE.
Sorry, was I shouting? I’m just really thrilled.
So we had the trial yesterday.
Before:
After several serious acts of magic and illusion:
And then we tested ‘the do’ over copious amounts of G&T’s and me shaking my head around every now and then. To simulate dancing, obviously.
AND she's going to do all five my bridesmaids' faces, just because she's fantastically driven and organised and capable and professional that way and she can, and she's a doll.
I heart Sebastine Pepler.
I am in the fortunate position of knowing many professional make-up artists in Cape Town, so you’d think finding someone to prettify me on my wedding day would be a cinch. Ha, not so. You see, firstly, November is high season in the modelling industry in Cape Town, which means most fashion make-up artists don’t really do weddings at this time. I totally understand this, as I wouldn’t expect any freelance professional to give up the potential earnings of a five-day catalogue or advertising shoot in exchange for one day’s wedding rate. Secondly, a few of these fabulous face creators are my friends, so if they aren't invited to the wedding, I feel bad asking them work for me and if they are, I’d rather have them enjoy the day as guests.
Then in June I remembered SuperStylish, a friend of a friend (who happens to be my Ex’s best friend’s wife… complicated) who happens to be a brilliant make-up artist and adequate hair stylist. I had booked her for Jewel’s wedding last year and she did a fabulous job on both our faces. SS and I were more like acquaintances, never friends and her relation to my Ex is rather far removed so I was sure it would work out just fine.
I asked her and she replied so enthusiastically, saying she’d be honoured and I was happy as a clam. Then she also volunteered a friend of hers to do the bridesmaids’ make-up. The Friend owed her a favour and was going to drive with her and she was asking very little as payment. I was overjoyed.
In the mean time I saw SS a couple of times at the (Big Name) make-up store where she works. I always went to her when I wanted to treat myself to a little something and even took Nightingale there for a makeover for her birthday. I was excited and looking forward to my trial at the end of October.
Then came 18 September, and with it a message in my Facebook inbox. “Bad news and good news, I can’t do your make-up anymore but will recommend someone else at the same price” was the gist of it. At first I was calm and disbelieving, then it sank in and I was hurt and furious. It was two months before my wedding, two months before the height of modelling AND wedding season, and my “friend”/make-up artist/hair stylist just dropped me. She said that a closer friend of hers was now also getting married in November and as she would also be a guest at that wedding, she’d rather do the closer friend’s make-up. Working in retail, she’s not allowed more than one weekend off per month.
I had complete respect and sympathy for her plight, but this was surely not acceptable? I composed myself before I wrote back. Then I told her how very upset I was, that it was quite late in the day for her to be doing this and that I’d chosen her for various reasons; any old “recommendation” of hers would not do. (Argh, just reading through our mails of that time for reference is making me mad…)
She replied then that she was really sorry, she hadn’t thought of it from my perspective and had assumed that as I know so many make-up artists, it wouldn’t be an issue. She offered to try and take unpaid leave on my Saturday and all could go back to the original plan.
I thanked her and said I’d be ever so grateful, i.e. “It’s the fricking least you can do”! At this stage I was so sad and deflated, I wasn’t even sure I wanted her there on the day? Like a good little trooper I awaited her response, and days later she mails again, “Sorry, I’ve tried everything but I can’t help you out any more”. I cried out of frustration.
A little later I realised time was ticking and I’d better find someone else. I checked out the few girls she'd referred me to. I wasn’t blown away by any of them, they all do a classic “wedding face” and all their brides look the same. Blah. I got a quote from one or two and they were all charging quite a bit more than SS. So much for “at the same price”.
I left it and left it and couldn’t decide what to do. I tried a few fashion artists but as I’d suspected, they were already booked out on wedding / fashion shoots or not available for weddings.
One particularly lovely girl, Coolest, was genuinely shocked at the way SS had treated me, and as she was already booked for a wedding on my day, did her best to recommend other fab girls. I just couldn’t even feign interest. I was completely demotivated and disillusioned. I thought I’d just do it myself. Then Coolest mailed me again one day to see if I had found someone. “No,” I replied. “I can’t be bothered.” Coolest: “Here’s a funny thing. My bride on your day had her wedding cancelled. It’s actually quite sad, the groom broke it off. But it means I’m now available, should you still be interested.”
I know it’s terribly, horribly selfish and unkind of me, but I nearly jumped up and down for joy. Look, if that groom was leaving his bride a month before the wedding he’s no good for her anyway, right? She’s much better off without him, she dodged a bullet. AND I GET TO HAVE A FANTASTIC MAKE-UP ARTIST WHO’S EVEN BETTER THAN SS, AND WHOM I ACTUALLY KNOW, LIKE AND ADMIRE.
Sorry, was I shouting? I’m just really thrilled.
So we had the trial yesterday.
Before:
After several serious acts of magic and illusion:
And then we tested ‘the do’ over copious amounts of G&T’s and me shaking my head around every now and then. To simulate dancing, obviously.
AND she's going to do all five my bridesmaids' faces, just because she's fantastically driven and organised and capable and professional that way and she can, and she's a doll.
I heart Sebastine Pepler.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
the wedding: bridesmaids dresses
In the beginning, I was thinking to dress my five gorgeous bridesmaids in something fresh and informal, accentuating the country element of our venue. The first inspiration boards I loved were white&green or white&yellow. I'd never seen a green or a yellow wedding before! I was considering a morning brunch (to cut costs, which didn't pan out) and would've loved to see my bridesmaids in cheerful, mismatched dresses like these:
They were always going to have different styles of dresses, that was not even negotiable for me. I also love the sense of fun and informality that a print adds, but as we're (literally, atmospherically) a season behind trends from the US and Europe, I couldn't find any in Cape Town.
When it turned into a late afternoon ceremony, I thought something a bit more formal would do. I also realised at this point that my girls aren't 18 year old innocents, they're beautiful grown women. So I started looking for something a bit more grown-up glamorous.
Voracious reading of wedding blogs at this point gave me an overdose of green and or yellow weddings, and the thrill faded for me. I just wasn't ready to commit to colour. Which led me to this perfect picture:
And for those who think frothy little frocks might be a bit more cocktail party than wedding party, I also adore these.
So by now I was thinking grey, and Bombshell in Colorado spotted the perfect little grey dress in my favourite cheapo store, Forever 21. Obviously it would've been a real bargain. Thinking about summer in the countryside though, grey didn't feel quite right, so I started thinking about white. And then I saw this:
Amazing right?
Sadly, coordinating this kind of look across three continents, and still making it just a little bit obvious which one of us is the bride, was more of a challenge than I was up for. I also started worrying about different shades of white, off-white and ivory and how the wrong mix could make some dresses look dirty. Not a good look. Then I found and ordered my gown, which turned out not to be the sheer, simple, understated frock I was dreaming of. Back to the drawing board then and the simplest answer in the world presented itself: lbd.
These are a bit formal and shiny for me, but you get the gist. LOVE a bit of lace in black too...
As proven before, I'm not a big fan of black. But picturing the hotel, the late evening light, chandeliers and candles, my glam dress and BB's rock star outfit (more later) it was suddenly the only option that made sense. It also saved a lot of trouble in coordination and matching/mismatching so I resignedly informed the girls that they're each to find a black dress that they adore, that adores them back and they'd love to have anyway.
They were always going to have different styles of dresses, that was not even negotiable for me. I also love the sense of fun and informality that a print adds, but as we're (literally, atmospherically) a season behind trends from the US and Europe, I couldn't find any in Cape Town.
When it turned into a late afternoon ceremony, I thought something a bit more formal would do. I also realised at this point that my girls aren't 18 year old innocents, they're beautiful grown women. So I started looking for something a bit more grown-up glamorous.
Voracious reading of wedding blogs at this point gave me an overdose of green and or yellow weddings, and the thrill faded for me. I just wasn't ready to commit to colour. Which led me to this perfect picture:
And for those who think frothy little frocks might be a bit more cocktail party than wedding party, I also adore these.
So by now I was thinking grey, and Bombshell in Colorado spotted the perfect little grey dress in my favourite cheapo store, Forever 21. Obviously it would've been a real bargain. Thinking about summer in the countryside though, grey didn't feel quite right, so I started thinking about white. And then I saw this:
Amazing right?
Sadly, coordinating this kind of look across three continents, and still making it just a little bit obvious which one of us is the bride, was more of a challenge than I was up for. I also started worrying about different shades of white, off-white and ivory and how the wrong mix could make some dresses look dirty. Not a good look. Then I found and ordered my gown, which turned out not to be the sheer, simple, understated frock I was dreaming of. Back to the drawing board then and the simplest answer in the world presented itself: lbd.
These are a bit formal and shiny for me, but you get the gist. LOVE a bit of lace in black too...
As proven before, I'm not a big fan of black. But picturing the hotel, the late evening light, chandeliers and candles, my glam dress and BB's rock star outfit (more later) it was suddenly the only option that made sense. It also saved a lot of trouble in coordination and matching/mismatching so I resignedly informed the girls that they're each to find a black dress that they adore, that adores them back and they'd love to have anyway.
the wedding: theme
Once we had our venue, we started thinking florists/decorators. As I mentioned before, we only knew one such company who did our friends' wedding and they happen to be considered one of the most innovative, avant garde florists around. Perfect for us then!
We had a meeting with Alwyn at Okasie, hopefully succeeding in illustrating our dream day clearly. We had to write a couple of paragraphs regarding our likes and dislikes, our style and the mood we were going for. It's quite hard to put these ideals into words, but I still like some of the thoughts that came out of that little worksheet.
Overall impression desired: Stylish, unique, romantic, intimate.
Two diverse ideas: 1. Romantic, vintage, classic with a touch of modern glamour.
2. Very clean, modern, simple, minimalist.
Other ideas to incorporate: Contemporary Afrikaans.
Comfortable chic.
Colour Options: white only / white & tiffany blue / white & chartreuse.
No flowers? Just glass/crystal/metallics/candles/beads/ribbons?
Patterns: modern damask/brocade, stripes, polka dots.
Mood / Theme: Contemporary impression of Colonial / Cuban / Deep South.
G&Ts / Mojitos / Mint juleps, white gauze, slow fans, palms.
Favourite flowers:
1. lily of the valley, 2. Hydrangea Blossom, 3. White Peony, 4. white tuberose, 5. Scented bokeh, 6. White petals, 7. White Frangipani Flower, 8. Gardenia..., 9. Oh Sweet Pea!
Preferred containers: Mismatched. Quirky, patterned, coloured, fun.
Other notes: I love chandeliers!
Okasie came up with this fabulous mood board:
We had a meeting with Alwyn at Okasie, hopefully succeeding in illustrating our dream day clearly. We had to write a couple of paragraphs regarding our likes and dislikes, our style and the mood we were going for. It's quite hard to put these ideals into words, but I still like some of the thoughts that came out of that little worksheet.
Overall impression desired: Stylish, unique, romantic, intimate.
Two diverse ideas: 1. Romantic, vintage, classic with a touch of modern glamour.
2. Very clean, modern, simple, minimalist.
Other ideas to incorporate: Contemporary Afrikaans.
Comfortable chic.
Colour Options: white only / white & tiffany blue / white & chartreuse.
No flowers? Just glass/crystal/metallics/candles/beads/ribbons?
Patterns: modern damask/brocade, stripes, polka dots.
Mood / Theme: Contemporary impression of Colonial / Cuban / Deep South.
G&Ts / Mojitos / Mint juleps, white gauze, slow fans, palms.
Favourite flowers:
1. lily of the valley, 2. Hydrangea Blossom, 3. White Peony, 4. white tuberose, 5. Scented bokeh, 6. White petals, 7. White Frangipani Flower, 8. Gardenia..., 9. Oh Sweet Pea!
Preferred containers: Mismatched. Quirky, patterned, coloured, fun.
Other notes: I love chandeliers!
Okasie came up with this fabulous mood board:
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
the wedding: i couldn't resist
Ordering some of these from here...
Do you blame me?
Surprise BB!
I love you.
Don't be mad?
x
PS: babypicturethis, it's all your fault!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
the wedding: invites
The very first page I ever tore from a wedding magazine, was this one:
I adore the quirky cute vintage style, which somehow remains quite elegant. I tried making my own save-the-dates based on this one, but that was just ridiculously over-ambitious. Especially considering I only have MS Paint. Eventually, and quite late in the game, I went to see Elsje Designs. Elsje also loved the concept and got to work making it our own.
We had a few hiccups during the process. Finding the right, graphic/iconic images proved much harder than I would’ve thought. There are plenty of vintage images available, and lots of modern ones, but finding a picture that is both at the same time? Not so easy.
Then we also struggled with the font. Elsje found a gorgeous, flawed, inky script that we loved but it came out quite illegible in our text. Then she hated the font we found, saying she’s seen it on every bubble bath bottle and “elegant” menu. This is the kind of input I really value!
Somewhere along the way we lost the part of the RSVP section that gives the date by which RSVPs are due. Oops. It didn't bother me too much as I know people are usually lax to reply anyway, whether there is a deadline or not.
When we approached the end of the line all local suppliers had run out of white on black polka-dot paper and the entire range had been discontinued! I drove around from one paper store to the next, reluctantly settling on silver dots on black for the last batch.
It sounds like about 10 mailed invites out of 90 never made it to their final destinations. That makes me sad… We didn’t print a return address on the envelopes so who knows where they lie now, all forlorn.
Elsje Designs printed the envelopes as well. Originally I thought I’d do that myself to save a bit, but laziness and delay overwhelmed me. I was so happy when we received them though, as the envelopes have sticky strips so no licking required!
I picked the chartreuse colour at random. So far our wedding is basic black and white, which is really weird, as BB and I both love bold colours and our wardrobes are distinctly free of ubiquitous black.
Maybe that’s the problem though, we could never pick just one colour. Our shared favourites are red, apple green, electric blue, and the combination of charcoal & turquoise. My seasonal favourites are lime green, fuchsia and coral. I dare you to come up with an inspiration board that finds the balance there!
I adore the quirky cute vintage style, which somehow remains quite elegant. I tried making my own save-the-dates based on this one, but that was just ridiculously over-ambitious. Especially considering I only have MS Paint. Eventually, and quite late in the game, I went to see Elsje Designs. Elsje also loved the concept and got to work making it our own.
We had a few hiccups during the process. Finding the right, graphic/iconic images proved much harder than I would’ve thought. There are plenty of vintage images available, and lots of modern ones, but finding a picture that is both at the same time? Not so easy.
Then we also struggled with the font. Elsje found a gorgeous, flawed, inky script that we loved but it came out quite illegible in our text. Then she hated the font we found, saying she’s seen it on every bubble bath bottle and “elegant” menu. This is the kind of input I really value!
Somewhere along the way we lost the part of the RSVP section that gives the date by which RSVPs are due. Oops. It didn't bother me too much as I know people are usually lax to reply anyway, whether there is a deadline or not.
When we approached the end of the line all local suppliers had run out of white on black polka-dot paper and the entire range had been discontinued! I drove around from one paper store to the next, reluctantly settling on silver dots on black for the last batch.
It sounds like about 10 mailed invites out of 90 never made it to their final destinations. That makes me sad… We didn’t print a return address on the envelopes so who knows where they lie now, all forlorn.
Elsje Designs printed the envelopes as well. Originally I thought I’d do that myself to save a bit, but laziness and delay overwhelmed me. I was so happy when we received them though, as the envelopes have sticky strips so no licking required!
I picked the chartreuse colour at random. So far our wedding is basic black and white, which is really weird, as BB and I both love bold colours and our wardrobes are distinctly free of ubiquitous black.
Maybe that’s the problem though, we could never pick just one colour. Our shared favourites are red, apple green, electric blue, and the combination of charcoal & turquoise. My seasonal favourites are lime green, fuchsia and coral. I dare you to come up with an inspiration board that finds the balance there!
Friday, October 24, 2008
an interlude: crime, loss and great good deeds
As you might have realised by now, nothing on this blog happens without a twist. So instead of just ordering the Papillon from the lovely ladies at Designer Loft in NYC, I decided to wait and see what I might find in San Francisco. We were on our way to Pebble Beach Golf Resort for a few days, after which FMIL and I would stay on in SF. I boarded the plane for SF and BB in one of my fab new F21 outfits, bridal magazine in hand, thrilled with life. I couldn’t wait to see my Beautiful Boy! It was the longest we'd been apart since he came home and I can only assure you that absence made the hearts grow fonder and I was ecstatic to be reunited and on holiday with my darling and his darling parents.
We were booked at a hotel on the waterfront and finally checked in at about 4pm. The confusing change in time zones meant I hadn’t eaten anything all day and I was starving. I convinced BB to quickly pop out for a burger before unpacking and meeting his parents for a nice dinner.
We stepped onto the street, a chill wind cooling the sunny day enough that I needed to get my gorgeous leather jacket (a 30th birthday gift from BB) out from my oversized hobo bag. The streets were packed with tourists milling around and the whole atmosphere was festive. Just a few steps from our hotel we found an In-N-Out burger. Cool! I’ve never had one before, and I just love trying out the American standards we always hear of on TV. BB went and ordered for me while I got us a table. When he arrived with my burger, my bag was taking up all the space on the little table so I removed my bag and put it under my chair. In South Africa I would've hooked it on the chair's leg or put my foot through the handle, but I was relaxed, on holiday, in the super security conscious US of A!
I remember I was quite caught up with my In-N-Out burger, it's so good! Much fresher and tastier than McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy's et al. I also hadn't seen my Beautiful Boy in a week, so I suppose I have to admit to being a little distracted by him too. We probably sat there for five minutes, maximum, but it was long enough.
When we got up I looked for my bag, annoyed that it wasn't where I'd left it, and then that cold but hot, calm yet hysterical feeling came over me and being me, I instantly burst into tears. No one around us had seen anything; it had just disappeared into thin air.
We started searching the area, checking rubbish bins and bathrooms and behind tables and chairs... nothing. I remember looking to BB every now and then and thinking, come on honey, you always sort everything out for me, find the bag! But it wasn't to be.
We spotted two police officers just across the road and went to file the report. All the while I'm bawling my eyes out and trying to remember the exact contents of my bag.
My gorgeous shiny purple Marc Jacobs wallet, with money, credit cards, driver's license. Argh, driver's license! What a mission to replace?
My adorable gold Nokia with 500 SMS's exchanged between BB and I during the long distance portion of our relationship! At this a fresh sob escapes me. The officers look concerned.
My BRAND NEW digital camera purchased in NYC the previous day. Damn!
My leather Lazaro makeup bag with my favourite pen, lip balm and memory stick.
The police officer is dutifully writing everything down, minus the adjectives, but to my annoyance he skips the pen, lip balm and memory stick! Although, I might've been mumbling in Afrikaans at some stages.
And then it hits me...
Passport.
I'd hesitated in the hotel room, decided not to leave it there before I'd figured out how the safe works. I WAS AFRAID SOMEONE MIGHT TAKE IT FROM THE ROOM!
Oh.
My.
Word.
Passport includes my ten-year USA visa and (drum roll in my head as the light finally goes on) Mexican visa for next week!
So for the next week, while BB golfs at Pebble Beach with his Dad, I spend my days and nights pretending that I'm not shattered at my losses and trying to replace my passport and visas. These efforts included hours on the phone to voice automated government offices, a flight to the nearest SA Consulate in LA, trips between Pebble Beach and San Jose airport (thank you FMIL and BB!) and a constant run-around between police stations, embassies and travel agents. Not to mention time zone challenges and the fact that I'm at Pebble Beach in the middle of nowhere...
Anyway.
By Thursday BB and his Dad are on their way to Dallas on business, FMIL and I head back to San Francisco and the bad news is confirmed: even with my brand spanking new temporary passport in hand, I can't fly home via USA or the UK! So even if the Mexican Consulate in SF grants me an emergency visa in one day (which seemed unlikely!), all my flights from Mexico had to be rerouted via South America at great expense and there was NO WAY I would see my friends in London.
I'd dealt nicely with the financial/material losses at this stage, but this got me tearing up again. I'd been looking forward to our holiday in Mexico sooo much, it was the highlight of the trip for me, and two days in London was just the cherry on top. It seemed so unfair.
I wasn't ready to give up yet, though; so back in SF I tackled the various institutions once again, trying to get me to fly back into USA from Mexico. At the US Immigration office you're not allowed to have a cell phone with you, so I leave mine with FMIL and arrange to meet her four hours later when she's found us a hotel.
There I am running around SF on the hottest day in boots and jeans, overheating as I'm still trying to sort something out. I stop in at Kinko's to check my mail from the travel agent back home, and on a naughty whim decide to treat myself to two minutes on facebook. I spot a few messages in my inbox, one looks like spam cause it's from a Qasem Alloush? I almost don't open it, thinking it's junk. But the subject catches my eye: your passport.
You can just imagine my sense of wonder, surprise and disbelief as I read that Qasem picked up a passport and he thinks it's mine and a number to call him if it is indeed mine. I write down the number and jump up (almost forgetting BB's credit card there, oops close call!) to call Qasem. Mmm, small problem, no phone! And it's only one o'clock, I won't see FMIL or my phone for another three hours.
Long story short, well shortish: I called Qasem from a payphone, he answered, he was very kind and concerned, I almost cried with relief at hearing his voice, and then he said: he lives in San Jose, and he'd given my passport to the police.
Cue another long story about tracking down the passport at the correct police station. There is the San Jose Police Department, and then there is the San Jose State University Police Department. And the two have nothing to do with each other whatsoever. Then we move on to the chapter explaining how the police had misfiled the passport and denied having it. At this point I'm crying in frustration because now it's so close but still completely unattainable. BB and I both harass poor Qasem at this stage, trying to get as much information as possible about the handing over of the passport.
Eventually FMIL and I can't stand the red tape bureaucracy I'm getting over the phone and we jump back in our rental monster and drive out to San Jose (again). We find the State University PD and I make my case in front of an officer, threatening to personally search every vehicle and office there in order to find my passport. Eventually he realises he won't get rid of me and leaves the building to go look in another office. Five very tense minutes later he appears in the doorway, I look down to his hand, there is a small green book in it.
I nearly kissed him!
The first thing I did back in the car, after hugging FMIL and choking back more tears, was SMS Qasem. His reply was something like "Wow, so you are very happy now?" and the answer is yes, Qasem, I am oh so very happy now.
I know this travel ordeal was a small thing, an administrative nightmare that threatened only to take some pleasure from my trip. No one's life was endangered, no one was injured or ill or starving or living on the bread line. But that's the whole point.
In today's melancholy climate of global warming, economic depression, political mayhem, xenophobia, insane crime levels and every other reason to pop Xanax like Smarties, someone did something nice and decent and considerate, just because.
Maybe it's because he's also a foreigner in the US and understands the value of a passport? I don't know, but the fact is Qasem Alloush changed my life by picking up a passport lying around somewhere in San Francisco, he was smart enough to look for me on facebook (I wouldn't have thought of that!) and considerate enough to not just throw it in the bin when he didn't hear from me.
Thanks to that one act of random kindness, BB and I had the most incredible holiday in Mexico and got to spend time with dearest friends in London. I think that's a pretty big pay-off.
Oh, and to all the facebook haters out there, take that. I love facebook!
And so it happened that we left America, no dress ordered, various boutiques in SF still unvisited. All I had to show for it all was a very organised file filled to the brim with dress pictures, prices, order and shipping details, a lovely tan and a relaxed attitude courtesy of Qasem Alloush and Mexico...
We were booked at a hotel on the waterfront and finally checked in at about 4pm. The confusing change in time zones meant I hadn’t eaten anything all day and I was starving. I convinced BB to quickly pop out for a burger before unpacking and meeting his parents for a nice dinner.
We stepped onto the street, a chill wind cooling the sunny day enough that I needed to get my gorgeous leather jacket (a 30th birthday gift from BB) out from my oversized hobo bag. The streets were packed with tourists milling around and the whole atmosphere was festive. Just a few steps from our hotel we found an In-N-Out burger. Cool! I’ve never had one before, and I just love trying out the American standards we always hear of on TV. BB went and ordered for me while I got us a table. When he arrived with my burger, my bag was taking up all the space on the little table so I removed my bag and put it under my chair. In South Africa I would've hooked it on the chair's leg or put my foot through the handle, but I was relaxed, on holiday, in the super security conscious US of A!
I remember I was quite caught up with my In-N-Out burger, it's so good! Much fresher and tastier than McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy's et al. I also hadn't seen my Beautiful Boy in a week, so I suppose I have to admit to being a little distracted by him too. We probably sat there for five minutes, maximum, but it was long enough.
When we got up I looked for my bag, annoyed that it wasn't where I'd left it, and then that cold but hot, calm yet hysterical feeling came over me and being me, I instantly burst into tears. No one around us had seen anything; it had just disappeared into thin air.
We started searching the area, checking rubbish bins and bathrooms and behind tables and chairs... nothing. I remember looking to BB every now and then and thinking, come on honey, you always sort everything out for me, find the bag! But it wasn't to be.
We spotted two police officers just across the road and went to file the report. All the while I'm bawling my eyes out and trying to remember the exact contents of my bag.
My gorgeous shiny purple Marc Jacobs wallet, with money, credit cards, driver's license. Argh, driver's license! What a mission to replace?
My adorable gold Nokia with 500 SMS's exchanged between BB and I during the long distance portion of our relationship! At this a fresh sob escapes me. The officers look concerned.
My BRAND NEW digital camera purchased in NYC the previous day. Damn!
My leather Lazaro makeup bag with my favourite pen, lip balm and memory stick.
The police officer is dutifully writing everything down, minus the adjectives, but to my annoyance he skips the pen, lip balm and memory stick! Although, I might've been mumbling in Afrikaans at some stages.
And then it hits me...
Passport.
I'd hesitated in the hotel room, decided not to leave it there before I'd figured out how the safe works. I WAS AFRAID SOMEONE MIGHT TAKE IT FROM THE ROOM!
Oh.
My.
Word.
Passport includes my ten-year USA visa and (drum roll in my head as the light finally goes on) Mexican visa for next week!
So for the next week, while BB golfs at Pebble Beach with his Dad, I spend my days and nights pretending that I'm not shattered at my losses and trying to replace my passport and visas. These efforts included hours on the phone to voice automated government offices, a flight to the nearest SA Consulate in LA, trips between Pebble Beach and San Jose airport (thank you FMIL and BB!) and a constant run-around between police stations, embassies and travel agents. Not to mention time zone challenges and the fact that I'm at Pebble Beach in the middle of nowhere...
Anyway.
By Thursday BB and his Dad are on their way to Dallas on business, FMIL and I head back to San Francisco and the bad news is confirmed: even with my brand spanking new temporary passport in hand, I can't fly home via USA or the UK! So even if the Mexican Consulate in SF grants me an emergency visa in one day (which seemed unlikely!), all my flights from Mexico had to be rerouted via South America at great expense and there was NO WAY I would see my friends in London.
I'd dealt nicely with the financial/material losses at this stage, but this got me tearing up again. I'd been looking forward to our holiday in Mexico sooo much, it was the highlight of the trip for me, and two days in London was just the cherry on top. It seemed so unfair.
I wasn't ready to give up yet, though; so back in SF I tackled the various institutions once again, trying to get me to fly back into USA from Mexico. At the US Immigration office you're not allowed to have a cell phone with you, so I leave mine with FMIL and arrange to meet her four hours later when she's found us a hotel.
There I am running around SF on the hottest day in boots and jeans, overheating as I'm still trying to sort something out. I stop in at Kinko's to check my mail from the travel agent back home, and on a naughty whim decide to treat myself to two minutes on facebook. I spot a few messages in my inbox, one looks like spam cause it's from a Qasem Alloush? I almost don't open it, thinking it's junk. But the subject catches my eye: your passport.
You can just imagine my sense of wonder, surprise and disbelief as I read that Qasem picked up a passport and he thinks it's mine and a number to call him if it is indeed mine. I write down the number and jump up (almost forgetting BB's credit card there, oops close call!) to call Qasem. Mmm, small problem, no phone! And it's only one o'clock, I won't see FMIL or my phone for another three hours.
Long story short, well shortish: I called Qasem from a payphone, he answered, he was very kind and concerned, I almost cried with relief at hearing his voice, and then he said: he lives in San Jose, and he'd given my passport to the police.
Cue another long story about tracking down the passport at the correct police station. There is the San Jose Police Department, and then there is the San Jose State University Police Department. And the two have nothing to do with each other whatsoever. Then we move on to the chapter explaining how the police had misfiled the passport and denied having it. At this point I'm crying in frustration because now it's so close but still completely unattainable. BB and I both harass poor Qasem at this stage, trying to get as much information as possible about the handing over of the passport.
Eventually FMIL and I can't stand the red tape bureaucracy I'm getting over the phone and we jump back in our rental monster and drive out to San Jose (again). We find the State University PD and I make my case in front of an officer, threatening to personally search every vehicle and office there in order to find my passport. Eventually he realises he won't get rid of me and leaves the building to go look in another office. Five very tense minutes later he appears in the doorway, I look down to his hand, there is a small green book in it.
I nearly kissed him!
The first thing I did back in the car, after hugging FMIL and choking back more tears, was SMS Qasem. His reply was something like "Wow, so you are very happy now?" and the answer is yes, Qasem, I am oh so very happy now.
I know this travel ordeal was a small thing, an administrative nightmare that threatened only to take some pleasure from my trip. No one's life was endangered, no one was injured or ill or starving or living on the bread line. But that's the whole point.
In today's melancholy climate of global warming, economic depression, political mayhem, xenophobia, insane crime levels and every other reason to pop Xanax like Smarties, someone did something nice and decent and considerate, just because.
Maybe it's because he's also a foreigner in the US and understands the value of a passport? I don't know, but the fact is Qasem Alloush changed my life by picking up a passport lying around somewhere in San Francisco, he was smart enough to look for me on facebook (I wouldn't have thought of that!) and considerate enough to not just throw it in the bin when he didn't hear from me.
Thanks to that one act of random kindness, BB and I had the most incredible holiday in Mexico and got to spend time with dearest friends in London. I think that's a pretty big pay-off.
Oh, and to all the facebook haters out there, take that. I love facebook!
And so it happened that we left America, no dress ordered, various boutiques in SF still unvisited. All I had to show for it all was a very organised file filled to the brim with dress pictures, prices, order and shipping details, a lovely tan and a relaxed attitude courtesy of Qasem Alloush and Mexico...
Thursday, October 23, 2008
the wedding: dress part 4
Somewhere in between all the wedding dress shopping I’d spent an inordinate amount of time in Forever 21 and also bought my Boz frames. Yes, the very same sexy red frame for which this blog is named! FMIL told me about this quirky spectacle store she’d found on Union Square when she was in NY in February. Unfortunately, she’d been there on a Sunday and it was closed so she could only drool through the window. I was in the market for a new pair (long story, later!) and said I’d love to go with her and see this shop. Off we went and in we walked and there she pointed out this gorgeous red frame and I loved it, needed it, had to have it immediately. Now she loves telling people how I stole them out from under her, when she’d actually wanted them!
Anyhow, it was our last day in NYC and we started off with two boutique appointments. At Wedding Atelier we had the most charming girl from New Zealand to help us. The shop is pretty and light with huge change rooms and overall just a pleasant place to be. There was a Cymbeline dress I liked, a Chantilly lace sheath (no surprises there) but nothing came close to nudging any dress off the top three spots.
Final stop was Designer Loft and I did feel a quiver of excitement at getting to this store, because they stock Jenny Packham. One of the very first dresses I ever tore out of a magazine and that everyone agreed on, was the Eloise.
Looking through wedding magazines for a friend’s wedding a couple of years ago, I also adored this image. In fact, I still do.
So we arrived at the Loft and though the shop is quite crowded with dresses and people, everyone was so cheerfully loud that it felt like fun straight away. We went straight for the JPs and chose about 10 that I liked. Every dress was mind-blowingly beautiful. I think it’s the soft, floaty, fluid movement of her dresses that I’d been searching for in vain. They are voluminous and full but still hug your frame so you get romance and body-consciousness all at the same time. FMIL and I both had a bit of an emotional reaction to the Manouka. It’s so simple, so airy and clean. We loved it.
We went through the JP rack one last time and the lovely sales lady pulled out one more dress. “Oh no” I said, “Remember I said I don’t want any beading or bling…” She pleaded with me to try it just for her, I was really so well suited to Jenny’s dresses and she’d love to see it on me. Everyone at the Loft had been so kind and complimentary all along, without seeming desperate or false, I figured what’s the harm? So I stepped into the Papillon and came out to the big mirror and saw FMIL’s face. Then looked at my own. Oh goodness. It’s not exactly what I thought I’d go for, but it is a thing of beauty.
EDIT: I am such a fool. I know full well that my darling reads my blog every day... and then I went ahead and posted pics of the dress! Oh well, he claims he didn't really look, but just in case, I've decided to remove the pics for now. Sorry! (You could always google it if you want, but then so could he, so whatever man...)
So, unbelievably, it's now 23 days since my wedding and I can put the beautiful Papillon pictures back up here. I am still in love with this dress.
See, I knew it. I could never have fallen for the sketch, I'm just not visual enough!
It looks okay on the ramp.
It was good for me to see it worn in such a modern, minimalist way.
But this is the mood I totally adore.
And then, spoiler alert, me in it!
Sigh, I wish I could wear it again...
Anyhow, it was our last day in NYC and we started off with two boutique appointments. At Wedding Atelier we had the most charming girl from New Zealand to help us. The shop is pretty and light with huge change rooms and overall just a pleasant place to be. There was a Cymbeline dress I liked, a Chantilly lace sheath (no surprises there) but nothing came close to nudging any dress off the top three spots.
Final stop was Designer Loft and I did feel a quiver of excitement at getting to this store, because they stock Jenny Packham. One of the very first dresses I ever tore out of a magazine and that everyone agreed on, was the Eloise.
Looking through wedding magazines for a friend’s wedding a couple of years ago, I also adored this image. In fact, I still do.
So we arrived at the Loft and though the shop is quite crowded with dresses and people, everyone was so cheerfully loud that it felt like fun straight away. We went straight for the JPs and chose about 10 that I liked. Every dress was mind-blowingly beautiful. I think it’s the soft, floaty, fluid movement of her dresses that I’d been searching for in vain. They are voluminous and full but still hug your frame so you get romance and body-consciousness all at the same time. FMIL and I both had a bit of an emotional reaction to the Manouka. It’s so simple, so airy and clean. We loved it.
We went through the JP rack one last time and the lovely sales lady pulled out one more dress. “Oh no” I said, “Remember I said I don’t want any beading or bling…” She pleaded with me to try it just for her, I was really so well suited to Jenny’s dresses and she’d love to see it on me. Everyone at the Loft had been so kind and complimentary all along, without seeming desperate or false, I figured what’s the harm? So I stepped into the Papillon and came out to the big mirror and saw FMIL’s face. Then looked at my own. Oh goodness. It’s not exactly what I thought I’d go for, but it is a thing of beauty.
EDIT: I am such a fool. I know full well that my darling reads my blog every day... and then I went ahead and posted pics of the dress! Oh well, he claims he didn't really look, but just in case, I've decided to remove the pics for now. Sorry! (You could always google it if you want, but then so could he, so whatever man...)
So, unbelievably, it's now 23 days since my wedding and I can put the beautiful Papillon pictures back up here. I am still in love with this dress.
See, I knew it. I could never have fallen for the sketch, I'm just not visual enough!
It looks okay on the ramp.
It was good for me to see it worn in such a modern, minimalist way.
But this is the mood I totally adore.
And then, spoiler alert, me in it!
Sigh, I wish I could wear it again...
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
the wedding: dress part 3
BB was graduating in Madison in May 2008. It had always been the plan that his parents would attend; now it was the 4 of us. BB and his Dad also had to go to Taiwan and Dallas on business around this time and his Dad was taking him (and FMIL and me by default!) to Pebble Beach Golf Resort as his graduation present. They booked around-the-world tickets for them to incorporate everything.
My fab FMIL then convinced her husband that since we were flying out to the US via the East Coast anyway, us girls might as well stop over in NY on the way and then spend a couple of days in San Francisco (the closest big city to Pebble Beach) while they were working in Dallas.
Then BB and I started dreaming of a little holiday of our own to celebrate his accomplishment. We’ve got a long list of places we want to go, Mexico features. Then BB’s uncle told us that he had timeshare in Mexico and we could have a week! Talk about impossibly unbelievably great coincidences. We booked the mammoth itineraries involved.
FMIL and I flew out together; the boys were safely on their way to the Far East. We arrived in NYC, booked into our room and started walking. Now I may have told you what a wonderful person my FMIL is, but I haven’t mentioned yet that she’s also stylish, trendy and a serious shopper like me, be it window – or otherwise.
I came prepared, I’d done hours of research on the Internet and booked appointments in advance at places that had dresses that interested me. We spent four days in the city trekking from outlet wedding warehouse to upscale bridal boutique. My partner was keen, eager, enthusiastic and honest. Thank goodness for the honesty. I tried on at least 50 wedding dresses (we were in NYC damnit and had to make it count), probably more like a 100, and one was as different from the next as anything you can imagine. We visited RK Bridal, Bridal Garden, Kleinfeld, Pronovias, Wedding Atelier and Designer Loft.
With my stubborn conviction that I would find a fabulous bargain within 4 days, we went to the more economical stores first. At RK Bridal you don't need an appointment and on weekdays it's rather quiet so we pretty much had the entire place to ourselves. The racks and racks of plastic-covered paleness can be daunting, but armed with my printouts we went straight for the kill.
I tried on four different Watters dresses, including my beloved Brescia. I am tall and slim and quickly realised what a mixed blessing it is when almost every dress looks nice. They all looked nice. Nice was not gonna cut it though. FMIL was trying to remain objective but I could tell that she thought they were all too plain. I nattered on about fab shoes and blinging jewels to dress it up, she seemed unconvinced but open to persuasion. We left for the next store, Watters prices and shipping details in hand. I figured if the Brescia still haunted me over the next few days, I'd be very happy to marry in it.
The Bridal Garden is a non-profit boutique that sells not-quite-new designer gowns at up to 75% less than the original price. Some gowns are unworn samples donated by stores and designers. I thought I just might find a slightly older simple Vera Wang number here. Sadly, I think you have to actually live inside the Bridal Garden to ever be there when something great comes in. The dresses I tried there were simply outdated and outmoded. Next.
Just before leaving for NYC, I’d discovered Pronovias and lost my heart in a big way. If I was going to take FMIL up on her offer and go for a princess gown, it seemed that this was where I would find it. Their new flagship store had just opened in NYC a block from our hotel, so I bounced in one morning to see if I could get an appointment. The shop is gorgeous to the point of intimidation but the receptionist was so damn sweet and accommodating, I felt more and more sold on the whole brand.
When we arrived for my appointment the sales assistant was sadly not as lovely as the receptionist. She brought out the dresses I requested but didn’t seem interested in our feedback or opinions, she just steamrollered all over our expressed doubts and misgivings, seemingly desperate to make the sale. She was nice enough to offer me the store sample of my favourite dress, which would cut out all the waiting and shipping and stuff, but I just wasn’t convinced.
The dresses were all beautiful in a classic wedding way, but that was my problem. In the Pronovias advertisements and catalogue they style and shape the dresses so that even the more voluminous ones look quite slim and restrained. I’m quite convinced that this is only enhanced by the fact that they are modelled by the world’s prettiest top model Doutzen Kroes…When I tried them on (and as you can see in the catwalk pictures) they are really quite princess poufy.
We told Pushy Sales Lady that we still had an appointment at Kleinfeld’s. She very maturely and professionally trash-talked the stock, prices and sales staff of Kleinfeld’s, which had us scurrying out the door as quick as we could. Pushy ran out after us and shoved a gift bag in my hands. It turned out to be a lovely set of ivory silky pyjamas, thanks Pronovias!
At Kleinfeld’s we had a lovely sales lady, Pamela, helping us. She was kind and patient, she listened. I tried on a few dresses from Lazaro - we were back to the all-over-lace!
These dresses were imposingly beautiful but once again, quite traditional. If the fit was all soft and clingy it might have moved me more, but in reality the dresses were quite stiff and structured.
On the opposite end of the structured scale, I also love Claire Pettibone's whimsical fairy dresses, and got to try one on. It was so pretty, so sweet and frothy. Just a tad too sweet and frothy for me.
Then Pamela brought out an Amy Michelson number. Not the one I posted before, but the new season version of that dress. It’s all slinky and sexy, and it’s called: The Millionaire. What a name! FMIL, Pamela and I all gasped when I stepped out of the change room. That dress is va-va-voom. So glamorous, so look-at-me wow…
I loved it, it fit like a glove. Pamela said it was the first sample, it had just arrived, and we could leave with it. No ordering, no waiting, no shipping, no fuss. Stick it in my suitcase and fly it home. I was so tempted.
Another coffee-fuelled strategy session was necessary. I do not make impulsive decisions people, careful deliberation, that’s me. (Except of course the time I impulsively left my boyfriend of 10 years for a Beautiful Boy…)
Now, the problem with my indecision is that it only gets worse the more choice you give me. So I sat down with my list of shops and dresses and weeded them out. The final contenders were Brescia, Camara (the Pronovias dress with the big beads in two pictures above) and Millionaire. One was sweetly innocent, one dreamily romantic and the other one was sex-on-legs. Three aspects of my personality? Three different weddings? I could picture the Brescia at the ceremony on the veranda, the Camara in gorgeous pictures among the wheat fields and the Millionaire amidst twinkling chandeliers for the first dance.
When in doubt, get more options. I decided to let it all stew away in my brain until clarity came. Meanwhile, there were still two boutiques on my list for the next day!
My fab FMIL then convinced her husband that since we were flying out to the US via the East Coast anyway, us girls might as well stop over in NY on the way and then spend a couple of days in San Francisco (the closest big city to Pebble Beach) while they were working in Dallas.
Then BB and I started dreaming of a little holiday of our own to celebrate his accomplishment. We’ve got a long list of places we want to go, Mexico features. Then BB’s uncle told us that he had timeshare in Mexico and we could have a week! Talk about impossibly unbelievably great coincidences. We booked the mammoth itineraries involved.
FMIL and I flew out together; the boys were safely on their way to the Far East. We arrived in NYC, booked into our room and started walking. Now I may have told you what a wonderful person my FMIL is, but I haven’t mentioned yet that she’s also stylish, trendy and a serious shopper like me, be it window – or otherwise.
I came prepared, I’d done hours of research on the Internet and booked appointments in advance at places that had dresses that interested me. We spent four days in the city trekking from outlet wedding warehouse to upscale bridal boutique. My partner was keen, eager, enthusiastic and honest. Thank goodness for the honesty. I tried on at least 50 wedding dresses (we were in NYC damnit and had to make it count), probably more like a 100, and one was as different from the next as anything you can imagine. We visited RK Bridal, Bridal Garden, Kleinfeld, Pronovias, Wedding Atelier and Designer Loft.
With my stubborn conviction that I would find a fabulous bargain within 4 days, we went to the more economical stores first. At RK Bridal you don't need an appointment and on weekdays it's rather quiet so we pretty much had the entire place to ourselves. The racks and racks of plastic-covered paleness can be daunting, but armed with my printouts we went straight for the kill.
I tried on four different Watters dresses, including my beloved Brescia. I am tall and slim and quickly realised what a mixed blessing it is when almost every dress looks nice. They all looked nice. Nice was not gonna cut it though. FMIL was trying to remain objective but I could tell that she thought they were all too plain. I nattered on about fab shoes and blinging jewels to dress it up, she seemed unconvinced but open to persuasion. We left for the next store, Watters prices and shipping details in hand. I figured if the Brescia still haunted me over the next few days, I'd be very happy to marry in it.
The Bridal Garden is a non-profit boutique that sells not-quite-new designer gowns at up to 75% less than the original price. Some gowns are unworn samples donated by stores and designers. I thought I just might find a slightly older simple Vera Wang number here. Sadly, I think you have to actually live inside the Bridal Garden to ever be there when something great comes in. The dresses I tried there were simply outdated and outmoded. Next.
Just before leaving for NYC, I’d discovered Pronovias and lost my heart in a big way. If I was going to take FMIL up on her offer and go for a princess gown, it seemed that this was where I would find it. Their new flagship store had just opened in NYC a block from our hotel, so I bounced in one morning to see if I could get an appointment. The shop is gorgeous to the point of intimidation but the receptionist was so damn sweet and accommodating, I felt more and more sold on the whole brand.
When we arrived for my appointment the sales assistant was sadly not as lovely as the receptionist. She brought out the dresses I requested but didn’t seem interested in our feedback or opinions, she just steamrollered all over our expressed doubts and misgivings, seemingly desperate to make the sale. She was nice enough to offer me the store sample of my favourite dress, which would cut out all the waiting and shipping and stuff, but I just wasn’t convinced.
The dresses were all beautiful in a classic wedding way, but that was my problem. In the Pronovias advertisements and catalogue they style and shape the dresses so that even the more voluminous ones look quite slim and restrained. I’m quite convinced that this is only enhanced by the fact that they are modelled by the world’s prettiest top model Doutzen Kroes…When I tried them on (and as you can see in the catwalk pictures) they are really quite princess poufy.
We told Pushy Sales Lady that we still had an appointment at Kleinfeld’s. She very maturely and professionally trash-talked the stock, prices and sales staff of Kleinfeld’s, which had us scurrying out the door as quick as we could. Pushy ran out after us and shoved a gift bag in my hands. It turned out to be a lovely set of ivory silky pyjamas, thanks Pronovias!
At Kleinfeld’s we had a lovely sales lady, Pamela, helping us. She was kind and patient, she listened. I tried on a few dresses from Lazaro - we were back to the all-over-lace!
These dresses were imposingly beautiful but once again, quite traditional. If the fit was all soft and clingy it might have moved me more, but in reality the dresses were quite stiff and structured.
On the opposite end of the structured scale, I also love Claire Pettibone's whimsical fairy dresses, and got to try one on. It was so pretty, so sweet and frothy. Just a tad too sweet and frothy for me.
Then Pamela brought out an Amy Michelson number. Not the one I posted before, but the new season version of that dress. It’s all slinky and sexy, and it’s called: The Millionaire. What a name! FMIL, Pamela and I all gasped when I stepped out of the change room. That dress is va-va-voom. So glamorous, so look-at-me wow…
I loved it, it fit like a glove. Pamela said it was the first sample, it had just arrived, and we could leave with it. No ordering, no waiting, no shipping, no fuss. Stick it in my suitcase and fly it home. I was so tempted.
Another coffee-fuelled strategy session was necessary. I do not make impulsive decisions people, careful deliberation, that’s me. (Except of course the time I impulsively left my boyfriend of 10 years for a Beautiful Boy…)
Now, the problem with my indecision is that it only gets worse the more choice you give me. So I sat down with my list of shops and dresses and weeded them out. The final contenders were Brescia, Camara (the Pronovias dress with the big beads in two pictures above) and Millionaire. One was sweetly innocent, one dreamily romantic and the other one was sex-on-legs. Three aspects of my personality? Three different weddings? I could picture the Brescia at the ceremony on the veranda, the Camara in gorgeous pictures among the wheat fields and the Millionaire amidst twinkling chandeliers for the first dance.
When in doubt, get more options. I decided to let it all stew away in my brain until clarity came. Meanwhile, there were still two boutiques on my list for the next day!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
