43. a wonderful dream

So, the story finally catches up.

Beautiful Boy moved back to Cape Town in December 2007 and we’ve been living together since March. Without my Sis, ah I miss her!

We looked at rental apartments for months on end and became quite despondent when every furnished place we saw was filled with old and ugly or clinical, pretentious furniture. BB didn’t have any furniture as he’d just returned from the States and I wanted a clean start from the hand-me-down, rickety, mismatched stuff I’d been dragging around since my Varsity days. We also dreamed of only buying furniture once we found a home of our own to move into after the wedding, but that’s a story for another day.

Eventually, we came upon a private advert for a fully furnished converted loft in the city centre. Way back in Madison, BB and I had started dreaming of a city studio within walking distance of lively Long Street, with exposed red brick walls and impossibly high ceilings. We went to see the advertised place, and it was just perfect.

Huge open space, tick. Red brick walls, tick. Modern, yet comfy furniture, tick. Floor to ceiling windows framing Table Mountain, what a bonus! And it was in our price range! We are still in our loft, still loving it. Especially now that the sun is coming out to play early every morning and opening the curtains reveal a panoramic vision of my favourite city nestled under the mountain’s slopes.

As for the relationship?

I’m still a bit weary of carrying on about it too much, hesitant to say that I am officially the luckiest girl in the world, because it still feels like a wonderful dream, the best book I ever read or a fantastical movie.

I am loved.

Loved in such an expressive, affectionate, demonstrative way that there is no room for doubt or sorrow or fear.

I am understood.

So well understood that I’m constantly being challenged and coaxed and encouraged to be and do things I’d always hoped I could, but never believed I would.

I am visible.

I always thought constant compliments would wear thin after a while and that guys who are sweet and attentive all the time would bore me. I was wrong. When someone compliments you because they are compelled to say it, you see it slipping out of their mouth without time to guard or alter the thought. I could never get enough of that. When someone adores the things you’re shy of and honours the reality of you, it never gets boring.

I love.

Completely, absolutely, endlessly.

There’s still a ghost of the cynic residing in me. I know we’ve only been together for one year, I realise that we haven’t faced major adversity, I know that I find it hard to really talk about issues and that he can be a stubborn ass. But even knowing this, and imagining a hundred other potential obstacles, I know that I can confidently throw my lot in with this man. I know that we respect and admire each other enough to handle any future disagreements or strife with some dignity and care. I know that we will not abandon each other. I know that he is kind and generous and that my love for him is selfless and true. I cannot wait to be his wife.