Boy left in a bitter-sweet haze of goodbye, I love you, I’m going to marry you and we will make a plan to be together soon. We’d only had one beautiful day to spend together under the new promise of a life together. We went walking in the park, onto 5th Avenue and took a picture of us in front of Tiffany’s before heading out to La Guardia. Seeing his tears and his brave smile as he finally tore himself away from my embrace, watching him grow smaller as he waved one last time, nearly ripped my heart out. I cried all the way back into the city.
Once Beautiful Boy was gone, it was time for me to take my leave of NYC. Lala and I had a few more things on our to-do list. We ate the worst pretzel in the world on the Staten Island Ferry (the cheapest way to see the Statue of Liberty – it’s free!), took a hundred pictures of Manhattan from the Top of the Rock, visited a friend of Lala’s at her super posh apartment right next to Trump Parc and shot the breeze with Jazz great Wynton Marsalis at Dizzy Jazz Café on Columbus Circle. As you do.
By a great coincidence we would still be in NY for Halloween! We don’t celebrate this holiday back home, which added further excitement. The night before Halloween we were at Dizzy’s. I had two glasses of excellent red wine and fell a little bit deeper in love with the city as seen from the panoramic windows with smooth, hip jazz in my ears. From Dizzy’s we went to a little hole-in-the-wall bar somewhere round Spring Street. We had a couple of beers and made small talk with the locals.
One local was a little bit odd. I can’t remember his name and might not recognise him if I ever saw him again, but I do recall how creepy he seemed. I tried to be nice and non-judgemental as he ranted and raved about bad art and how good his art was and how he didn’t even like his girlfriend cause she thought she was cooler than him, but she wasn’t… Blah blah blah the guy went on and on. Long story short, he eventually tried to persuade me to come see his art at his studio just around the corner.
By this time I was not worried about offending him any more and I turned my back, didn’t respond, ignored him completely. He got angry and rude. Eventually the owner escorted him out of the bar for being drunk and disorderly. A short while later, I started feeling sick. I asked Lala if we could go home and though she was having a good time, she agreed to come with me. We got home safely and I crashed into a dead sleep.
When I woke up the next morning, I thought I was going to die. I’ve had too much drink before, I’ve mixed drinks and not slept enough and suffered hangovers I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies, but this was so much worse. I’d never felt so nauseous, weak and riddled with pain. I could hardly lift my head from my pillow, getting into the shower seemed impossible. Lala went out to get us some food; I could hardly eat a thing. I spent the day in bed drifting in and out of uncomfortable sleep filled with strange dreams.
By five o’clock, Lala urged me to get up and join her and friends at the Halloween parade. I really wanted to go, this was probably a once in a lifetime deal for me, but there was no way I could get out of that bed and spend the evening amid thousands of people in weird costumes.
Now I can’t say for sure that the creepy guy spiked my drink, maybe I just had the worst hangover ever in the history of humanity, but I guess in this twisted way I’ll never forget my one and only Halloween in NY!
The next day I felt almost back to normal. Thank goodness, because I had so much shopping left to do! I spent the GDP of a small African country on shoes, boots and Forever 21 and then fondly said goodbye to what would now forever be the city of love to me.
Showing posts with label goodbye. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goodbye. Show all posts
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
38. shock, surprise and delight
Once the ring was finally safely on my finger, we were officially engaged for all the world to see. We were supposed to go for dinner at the Rainbow Room, but the Tiffany’s escapade had taken up most of the day and all our energy, so we decided to rather just spend some downtime being together, cuddling and kissing and staring at Lucy. Yeah, it’s terrifically cheesy but we named the ring. Lucy for Lucida, also for Lucy in the sky with diamonds. So sue us.
That evening my Beautiful Boy took me to see Chicago on Broadway, which I absolutely loved and I suspect that he enjoyed it every bit as much as I did. I vividly remember sitting in the theatre, getting completely caught up in the action and then remembering with a shock that there was a rock on my finger. I literally got a fright each time!
Whenever this happened, thoughts would start spinning. My parents! They’d never even met him! My brother and sister, how would they take it? Sure, they liked him well enough but that didn’t mean they’d cheerfully let me marry him. My friends, his friends, would everyone think we’re crazy? When could we actually be together, would I have to move to Madison until he graduated? Spend a whole winter in Wisconsin with nothing to do but stay indoors out of the snow? When would the ex find out?
I’d focus back onto the stage, sneaking sideways looks at the Boy. He seemed in his element, as usual. Relaxed, entranced, lost in the show. I really love the way he can just do that. Be in the moment, no regrets for yesterday and no fears for tomorrow. It’s a gift. I took his cue and tried to just enjoy our date. Afterwards we had divine sushi and champagne at Blue Fin on Time’s Square – a perfect meal to end our eventful day.
I couldn’t really relax into this newly engaged state though. Not until the next morning when we both woke up eager to spread our good news to our loved ones. We found a quiet place with good reception (not so easy in NYC!) and started dialling. First up were his parents: they were ecstatic. His mom asked what took him so long! Then I called my Mom. She was surprised and a bit sad that she hadn’t met BB yet, but trusted me to know what I was getting into. My Dad was hesitantly happy, worried about the suddenness and whether I was still on the rebound after ex. Either way, they wished us all the luck and joy in the world and looked forward to meeting BB. Sheesh. Getting that out of the way felt like a weight off my shoulders.
Over a Ruby’s burger we texted all our friends and messages of shock, surprise and delight came rolling in. I was a bit worried when I didn’t hear anything from my siblings. Everyone else replied in one way or another. Also looming was another airport farewell. Before the end of the day, my fiancé (the word still sounds strange and pretentious!) would fly away back to Madison and in five days I’d leave for home. It was a mad roller-coaster ride this here girl was on.
That evening my Beautiful Boy took me to see Chicago on Broadway, which I absolutely loved and I suspect that he enjoyed it every bit as much as I did. I vividly remember sitting in the theatre, getting completely caught up in the action and then remembering with a shock that there was a rock on my finger. I literally got a fright each time!
Whenever this happened, thoughts would start spinning. My parents! They’d never even met him! My brother and sister, how would they take it? Sure, they liked him well enough but that didn’t mean they’d cheerfully let me marry him. My friends, his friends, would everyone think we’re crazy? When could we actually be together, would I have to move to Madison until he graduated? Spend a whole winter in Wisconsin with nothing to do but stay indoors out of the snow? When would the ex find out?
I’d focus back onto the stage, sneaking sideways looks at the Boy. He seemed in his element, as usual. Relaxed, entranced, lost in the show. I really love the way he can just do that. Be in the moment, no regrets for yesterday and no fears for tomorrow. It’s a gift. I took his cue and tried to just enjoy our date. Afterwards we had divine sushi and champagne at Blue Fin on Time’s Square – a perfect meal to end our eventful day.
I couldn’t really relax into this newly engaged state though. Not until the next morning when we both woke up eager to spread our good news to our loved ones. We found a quiet place with good reception (not so easy in NYC!) and started dialling. First up were his parents: they were ecstatic. His mom asked what took him so long! Then I called my Mom. She was surprised and a bit sad that she hadn’t met BB yet, but trusted me to know what I was getting into. My Dad was hesitantly happy, worried about the suddenness and whether I was still on the rebound after ex. Either way, they wished us all the luck and joy in the world and looked forward to meeting BB. Sheesh. Getting that out of the way felt like a weight off my shoulders.
Over a Ruby’s burger we texted all our friends and messages of shock, surprise and delight came rolling in. I was a bit worried when I didn’t hear anything from my siblings. Everyone else replied in one way or another. Also looming was another airport farewell. Before the end of the day, my fiancé (the word still sounds strange and pretentious!) would fly away back to Madison and in five days I’d leave for home. It was a mad roller-coaster ride this here girl was on.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
31. no
We didn't get married in Vegas.
We joked about it, I actually thought about it, we drove past a chapel or two, but alas... We said good bye at McCarran Int'l Airport (our third Airport farewell in as many months) and the opportunity for that particular crazy twist to see the light, got burnt up in the jet fuel of the Boeing that carried me on towards the Big Apple.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
27. lalaland
I left Madison with a heavy, though happy heart. My time with the Beautiful Boy had been even better than before. We’d talked about everything under the sun, once again, and found that we agreed where it mattered and gave each other a bit of a go when it didn’t. It was bittersweet to set off on my Californian adventure. Knowing we’d meet in Las Vegas in just 10 days helped a lot!
I met Lala on the Marina Del Rey; I was driving a huge ass rental car. I’d wanted something small and nippy but apparently they don’t do small and nippy in LA rental agencies. Driving in the US was a hugely intimidating mission; we drive on the left side of the road in SA! And I didn’t know LA, and I didn’t have a GPS system. With trepidation we started off on our urban escapade.
Now I have to explain that I’m not a celebrity fan. I don’t buy or read tabloids. I follow red carpet sites and watch awards ceremonies for the fashion. I do however devour movies and seem to accumulate useless general knowledge like a thirsty sponge. So I know names and faces, and would be able to spot a famous mug or two. Thus I ask forgiveness for the shameless namedropping to follow.
Being in LA you simply cannot get away from it.
IT.
The Hollywood dream.
The players, the rookies, the professionals, the mavericks; they’re all there. Constantly hustling, persistently operating to get in, get a better deal, get further. Your waiter is never just a waiter; he’s a frustrated actor. Your maitre d’ is a scriptwriter, your beauty therapist is a production assistant and your valet attendant is a stuntman. I was almost inspired to revive my teenage dream of becoming a movie star, the air there seems so loaded with magic and possibility. I’m sure though, that if you stay long enough in this delusional Lalaland, you start to recognise that the magic and possibility is actually just smog, faded dreams and endless disappointment in fancy dress.
Regardless of my anti-celebrity attitude, Lala and I experienced an incredibly star studded week. We were staying with my adorable Model friend and her Famous Comedian boyfriend in Venice Beach. The first night there, we were invited to the opening of Robert Graham’s sculpture exhibition (he is Anjelica Huston’s husband) where we met La Anjelica, Owen Wilson, Kyle MacLachlan and the mayor of LA. Owen was very sweet, and tried hard to make comfortable small-talk, saying he’d heard there’s good surf in SA and that he’d have to come check it out. I just nodded goofily and said: “Yeah, you should”. I mean, here is this guy who doesn’t know me from Adam, yet I know exactly who he is and that just the previous week he’d allegedly tried to commit suicide over Kate Hudson! He was there with his mother, who came over all protective when she noticed her boy chatting to us. Did we look like Kate wannabes?
Brooke Shields was in the background, kids draped around her like this season’s must-have It-bag and Kelly Lynch lurked around looking thin, glam and twenty years younger than she should. We were guests of Jeremy Railton, a supremely talented and wonderfully warm-hearted art director and production designer who happens to be a lifelong friend of Lala’s Mom. I’d have to spend a whole post on this guy’s interesting life and amazing career; he’s worked with everyone and done everything! His latest project was designing Cher’s Vegas show. Not bad for a boy from Zimbabwe.
We spent a day on Ocean Front Walk and the beach, explored the delightful shops on Abbot Kinney Rd, watched the taping of a “Notes from the underbelly” episode at Warner Bros studios, had some laughs at the world-famous Comedy Store, met Jeremy Piven over coffee in Santa Monica and lunched at Moonshadows on the Malibu cliffs. Here I had the best meal of my entire life, bar none. A tuna burger so fresh, the combined flavours so perfectly balanced, argh, I have to go back there!
We also spent a night with my ridiculously beautiful Actress friend in her West Hollywood apartment. Actress has had a recurring part in a popular US sitcom and at 25 is still very much in the running to catch a big break. I really hope she does. Model and Actress took us out to the uber-trendy Green Door restaurant/bar/club. The place was stunning and packed with gorgeous people; sadly you’re not allowed to take any pictures. For the record, I wasn’t stalking, just innocently trying to get a photo of us four girls.
The next morning Actress’ friend Bond Girl popped in and yes, she has actually been a minor Bond Girl in a Bond Film. Blew my mind. As we strolled along Hollywood Boulevard, I was asked to quickly play a small part in a student production filming right there. Only in Hollywood, right? We checked out Mann’s Chinese Theatre on the walk of fame and I got a picture of Charlize Theron’s star, the Hollywood sign and one with me and “Johnny Depp” as Captain Jack Sparrow.
Overall, LA was a blast. A crazy, manic, head-spinning trip that still seems like fiction when I think back. Everything happened at the speed of light. We were out and about every day and night, sleeping fitfully for only a couple of hours on Model’s couches while her whole house was being packed up to move! It didn’t help that I had a terrible cold at the time and the driving freaked me out completely. Luckily, by the Friday, I handed the rental monster back at the airport and dear Jeremy swept Model, Actress, Lala and me away to an anti-LA weekend at his ranch in Three Rivers, California.
I met Lala on the Marina Del Rey; I was driving a huge ass rental car. I’d wanted something small and nippy but apparently they don’t do small and nippy in LA rental agencies. Driving in the US was a hugely intimidating mission; we drive on the left side of the road in SA! And I didn’t know LA, and I didn’t have a GPS system. With trepidation we started off on our urban escapade.
Now I have to explain that I’m not a celebrity fan. I don’t buy or read tabloids. I follow red carpet sites and watch awards ceremonies for the fashion. I do however devour movies and seem to accumulate useless general knowledge like a thirsty sponge. So I know names and faces, and would be able to spot a famous mug or two. Thus I ask forgiveness for the shameless namedropping to follow.
Being in LA you simply cannot get away from it.
IT.
The Hollywood dream.
The players, the rookies, the professionals, the mavericks; they’re all there. Constantly hustling, persistently operating to get in, get a better deal, get further. Your waiter is never just a waiter; he’s a frustrated actor. Your maitre d’ is a scriptwriter, your beauty therapist is a production assistant and your valet attendant is a stuntman. I was almost inspired to revive my teenage dream of becoming a movie star, the air there seems so loaded with magic and possibility. I’m sure though, that if you stay long enough in this delusional Lalaland, you start to recognise that the magic and possibility is actually just smog, faded dreams and endless disappointment in fancy dress.
Regardless of my anti-celebrity attitude, Lala and I experienced an incredibly star studded week. We were staying with my adorable Model friend and her Famous Comedian boyfriend in Venice Beach. The first night there, we were invited to the opening of Robert Graham’s sculpture exhibition (he is Anjelica Huston’s husband) where we met La Anjelica, Owen Wilson, Kyle MacLachlan and the mayor of LA. Owen was very sweet, and tried hard to make comfortable small-talk, saying he’d heard there’s good surf in SA and that he’d have to come check it out. I just nodded goofily and said: “Yeah, you should”. I mean, here is this guy who doesn’t know me from Adam, yet I know exactly who he is and that just the previous week he’d allegedly tried to commit suicide over Kate Hudson! He was there with his mother, who came over all protective when she noticed her boy chatting to us. Did we look like Kate wannabes?
Brooke Shields was in the background, kids draped around her like this season’s must-have It-bag and Kelly Lynch lurked around looking thin, glam and twenty years younger than she should. We were guests of Jeremy Railton, a supremely talented and wonderfully warm-hearted art director and production designer who happens to be a lifelong friend of Lala’s Mom. I’d have to spend a whole post on this guy’s interesting life and amazing career; he’s worked with everyone and done everything! His latest project was designing Cher’s Vegas show. Not bad for a boy from Zimbabwe.
We spent a day on Ocean Front Walk and the beach, explored the delightful shops on Abbot Kinney Rd, watched the taping of a “Notes from the underbelly” episode at Warner Bros studios, had some laughs at the world-famous Comedy Store, met Jeremy Piven over coffee in Santa Monica and lunched at Moonshadows on the Malibu cliffs. Here I had the best meal of my entire life, bar none. A tuna burger so fresh, the combined flavours so perfectly balanced, argh, I have to go back there!
We also spent a night with my ridiculously beautiful Actress friend in her West Hollywood apartment. Actress has had a recurring part in a popular US sitcom and at 25 is still very much in the running to catch a big break. I really hope she does. Model and Actress took us out to the uber-trendy Green Door restaurant/bar/club. The place was stunning and packed with gorgeous people; sadly you’re not allowed to take any pictures. For the record, I wasn’t stalking, just innocently trying to get a photo of us four girls.
The next morning Actress’ friend Bond Girl popped in and yes, she has actually been a minor Bond Girl in a Bond Film. Blew my mind. As we strolled along Hollywood Boulevard, I was asked to quickly play a small part in a student production filming right there. Only in Hollywood, right? We checked out Mann’s Chinese Theatre on the walk of fame and I got a picture of Charlize Theron’s star, the Hollywood sign and one with me and “Johnny Depp” as Captain Jack Sparrow.
Overall, LA was a blast. A crazy, manic, head-spinning trip that still seems like fiction when I think back. Everything happened at the speed of light. We were out and about every day and night, sleeping fitfully for only a couple of hours on Model’s couches while her whole house was being packed up to move! It didn’t help that I had a terrible cold at the time and the driving freaked me out completely. Luckily, by the Friday, I handed the rental monster back at the airport and dear Jeremy swept Model, Actress, Lala and me away to an anti-LA weekend at his ranch in Three Rivers, California.
Monday, September 15, 2008
15. airport
The day Boy left, we were wide-eyed and nervous, but also giggly and excited. We held hands and kissed non-stop, wishing each other the best and happiest times. Our plan of action was to wave goodbye, keep in touch and live contented, joyful lives until our paths may cross again.
I urged him to give sexy Senoritas and flirty Mademoiselles a chance, as I was rather excited about my own single status, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY ADULT LIFE. The feeling was enormous. Daunting and delicious, empowering and tremendously scary all at the same time.
We kissed goodbye, one last time, smiled and waved and blew kisses at each other until he disappeared through the security gates.
I threw myself into an eventful new life, keeping endlessly busy. During the day there was work and admin, clearing out and redecorating my apartment, sorting out insurance and bills and changing everything back to my own name. I felt sure and strong, independent and capable.
After work I could surround myself with family and friends, or even more indulgently, just be home alone and do whatever the hell I wanted. It was enormously gratifying to pig out on pizza and watch Sex & The City box sets till 3 in the morning, just because I could. I embraced my single life and found immense happiness in it.
I urged him to give sexy Senoritas and flirty Mademoiselles a chance, as I was rather excited about my own single status, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY ADULT LIFE. The feeling was enormous. Daunting and delicious, empowering and tremendously scary all at the same time.
We kissed goodbye, one last time, smiled and waved and blew kisses at each other until he disappeared through the security gates.
I threw myself into an eventful new life, keeping endlessly busy. During the day there was work and admin, clearing out and redecorating my apartment, sorting out insurance and bills and changing everything back to my own name. I felt sure and strong, independent and capable.
After work I could surround myself with family and friends, or even more indulgently, just be home alone and do whatever the hell I wanted. It was enormously gratifying to pig out on pizza and watch Sex & The City box sets till 3 in the morning, just because I could. I embraced my single life and found immense happiness in it.
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