Tuesday, January 13, 2009
you never think it will happen to you
"Part of me doesn't want to share my wedding with the world. I think I'm afraid if I shake it too hard the glitter will fall off."
East Side Bride uttered these concisely descriptive words in her post on Meg's Wedding Graduate series. I read it in October, about a month before my wedding and I thought: 'what a beautiful sentence. what a load of crap.' (Sorry eastside but I did, at the time...)
And now, guess what? I'm protectively hugging the day to my chest, fearful to put into words all the wonderful little things that I experienced and anxious to relive some less wonderful realisations that I had.
I am a perfectionist so I was always going to notice tiny imperfect details. In the spirit of honest and true reportage I'd feel compelled to admit that there were things that I would've liked different (and I'm not talking about the shade of the napkins or the position of the centre pieces!) but do I really want to dwell on that? I very neatly set those issues aside the second I became aware of them on the day and now I fear that if I revisit the day from moment to moment I'll be awash in the memory of everything as it really was, in harsh retrospective light and not be able to carry on living happily in the hazy dreamy blissful ideal that I recall when I think back generally.
Wow, that makes my wedding sound like a disaster.
Let me rephrase. My wedding day was gorgeous, joyful and intensely meaningful. I was as calm and ready and excited as is humanly possible. Our friends and family members surrounded us with love and good wishes and then we were man and wife and we felt like the luckiest, happiest people on earth. All the planning came to fruition to ensure an intimate ceremony, a festive dinner and a kick-ass party. I couldn't have asked for more.
But it's hard to write about it.
Kudos to all you brave blogger brides who jump right in and share, because that is ultimately why we're here in the blogosphere isn't it? To share. Our experiences and thoughts and ideas and emotions.
Writing this post is the start. I'm sure I can work through my issues and show you my beautiful day, when my beautiful boy became my beautiful husband.
Soon, soon, soon.