I stood in the rain with my little purple umbrella in my sundress and soggy suede boots, on the corner of 57th and 7th, looking down at the expectant face of a boy I’d met six months before. A boy who had unintentionally stolen my heart away three months earlier, changing every aspect of my life and all my ideas of what love is and can be. In the space of ten seconds I reviewed all my hopes and dreams and saw that yes, this boy would support me in all of them and make them come true one by one. I stammered a hesitant yes. Hesitant because he was so young and impulsive and this was so sudden and unexpected. Yes because none of that mattered when it felt so obvious and true.
I must admit that the overwhelming emotion I felt at this time was shock. I said yes, he got up, we kissed and held each other, but it felt unreal. My mind was spinning round a hundred reasons why I shouldn’t be engaged to a Beautiful Boy just three months after leaving a ten year relationship. I was astounded. The BB and I had discussed marriage often and from our first real talk at the cigar bar, we knew we both believed in it and wanted it. But I’d thought that if all went well the earliest he would consider proposing would be over Christmas back home, or maybe when he finished his degree in May 2008. But no, this was 27 October 2007, and we were engaged!
We continued walking along. The rain didn’t stop pouring down. I was completely dazed, a daft grin plastered all over my face. I knew I’d have to return to the real world, say something soon or he’d think I’d gone over the deep end. I spotted a bit of shelter and dropped my bag and umbrella, turning to face this impetuous boy. “Are you serious? Did we just get engaged? Is this for real? What the hell…” He just laughed at me and pulled me close. “Your yes was a bit hesitant, but I still think it counts. So yes, I am and we are and it’s for real. In fact, if we don’t hurry up we’ll be late for our ten o’clock appointment.”
I decided to give up the second-guessing and just follow where this positive, assured, carefree boy wanted to lead me. Which was a very good thing in retrospect, as he led me straight to Tiffany & Co. 5th Avenue.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
34. hold my hand
While planning our NY weekend over the phone, Boy had told me to keep Saturday open for him exclusively. My only clues were that we’d have to be out and about by 8.30am and that I should dress comfortably but would probably want to look pretty.
I knew exactly what he had in mind: a Sex and the City bus tour! Beautiful Boy knew that it was Carrie and the girls who got me through the long nights when we were far apart, and though it would probably be a bit boring for him, he was sacrificing his Saturday in NYC just for me. What a honey! I pretended not to crack the code and feigned anticipation at finding out what the surprise would be.
We took Lala and Danny to dinner at Tony’s on Friday night and got to bed early to be ready for our Saturday morning. By 8.45 we were on the street, coffee in hand, umbrella in the other, as it was absolutely pouring! The wet added a bit of a challenge to my planned summer dress, but I decided to just add boots and go for broke. I was having balancing issues though. Somehow I couldn’t handle walking through the crowds, the boho bag on my shoulder, the coffee cup and the umbrella at the same time. How do New Yorkers do it? Respect.
Boy kept asking me if I’d prefer to get a cab, but it sounded so romantic to be walking hand-in-hand through the streets of NYC in the rain, I didn’t take him up on the offer. Even though taking a sip of coffee seemed impossible without spilling or burning my tongue or dropping the umbrella or my bag sliding down and pulling the cup away, spilling some more coffee everywhere! And my suede boots were taking a beating in the puddles and my legs were wet and my hair was frizzing and I was getting a bit hungry and… ugh! I was not handling the walk very well.
Meanwhile Boy was trying to hold my hand and telling me how he loved me and how good we were together and was I truly as happy as he felt and was I ready to really be with him and I’m thinking, in five minutes we’ll get to the tour bus or the Boathouse and we’ll sit down out of the driving rain without crowds and cups and umbrellas and boho bags and then, my dear sweet wonderful Beautiful Boy I’ll hold your hand. I’ll tell you in a hundred ways how well I’m loved and how vast my love for you has grown in no time at all. I’ll tell you exactly how perfectly we fit together and how I’m happier than anyone else on this earth. I’ll tell you how I’m already closer to you than I’d ever been to another man and that I’m so ready to remain this close to you forever and ever.
We were about to cross 7th Avenue when Boy stopped to tie his shoelace. I was still quite consumed with the business of staying relatively dry while balancing the cup and the bag, but I did have the presence of mind to notice that Boy’s shoe didn’t have any laces. That was weird. He seemed to be down there for a long time too and the crowds were surging and retreating around us as the lights changed and then he looked up at me with a little bit of apprehension and he asked me if I would marry him.
I knew exactly what he had in mind: a Sex and the City bus tour! Beautiful Boy knew that it was Carrie and the girls who got me through the long nights when we were far apart, and though it would probably be a bit boring for him, he was sacrificing his Saturday in NYC just for me. What a honey! I pretended not to crack the code and feigned anticipation at finding out what the surprise would be.
We took Lala and Danny to dinner at Tony’s on Friday night and got to bed early to be ready for our Saturday morning. By 8.45 we were on the street, coffee in hand, umbrella in the other, as it was absolutely pouring! The wet added a bit of a challenge to my planned summer dress, but I decided to just add boots and go for broke. I was having balancing issues though. Somehow I couldn’t handle walking through the crowds, the boho bag on my shoulder, the coffee cup and the umbrella at the same time. How do New Yorkers do it? Respect.
Boy kept asking me if I’d prefer to get a cab, but it sounded so romantic to be walking hand-in-hand through the streets of NYC in the rain, I didn’t take him up on the offer. Even though taking a sip of coffee seemed impossible without spilling or burning my tongue or dropping the umbrella or my bag sliding down and pulling the cup away, spilling some more coffee everywhere! And my suede boots were taking a beating in the puddles and my legs were wet and my hair was frizzing and I was getting a bit hungry and… ugh! I was not handling the walk very well.
Meanwhile Boy was trying to hold my hand and telling me how he loved me and how good we were together and was I truly as happy as he felt and was I ready to really be with him and I’m thinking, in five minutes we’ll get to the tour bus or the Boathouse and we’ll sit down out of the driving rain without crowds and cups and umbrellas and boho bags and then, my dear sweet wonderful Beautiful Boy I’ll hold your hand. I’ll tell you in a hundred ways how well I’m loved and how vast my love for you has grown in no time at all. I’ll tell you exactly how perfectly we fit together and how I’m happier than anyone else on this earth. I’ll tell you how I’m already closer to you than I’d ever been to another man and that I’m so ready to remain this close to you forever and ever.
We were about to cross 7th Avenue when Boy stopped to tie his shoelace. I was still quite consumed with the business of staying relatively dry while balancing the cup and the bag, but I did have the presence of mind to notice that Boy’s shoe didn’t have any laces. That was weird. He seemed to be down there for a long time too and the crowds were surging and retreating around us as the lights changed and then he looked up at me with a little bit of apprehension and he asked me if I would marry him.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
33. rundown dirty hellhole
It may seem strange that I plug all the arbitrary places we went and ate and viewed, but please try to understand. I’m from a (gorgeous, fantastic, ground-breaking) little third-world country far, far away. To us, concepts like Time’s Square, Dunkin Donuts, uptown, Pastis and 5th Avenue are all coated with the same shiny veneer of fame. These are words we’ve only heard in movies and television shows. In our geographically limited experience these streets, sights and restaurants are peopled with all the characters we know and love.
The effect this had on me was that every mundane little thing I did there was somehow glamorised and made more meaningful because I was doing it in New York. I even enjoyed my two-hour journey on the subway all the way from 181st Street to JFK, to go fetch my Beautiful Boy. We took the subway back to Manhattan again as I was too lazy to figure out the buses, though it would’ve been a good sightseeing trip! But my Boy was there, and I didn’t want to look out at the city, (sap alert!) only into his eyes.
We checked into our “hotel” just off Time’s Square. We’d booked late and we were on a budget, let’s just say that the place was a little worse for wear. Our “room” was about the size of my suitcase, but we had our own little dingy “bathroom” for which I was thankful. We’d read horrible reviews of our “hotel” on tripadvisor, which was a great idea, as we were consequentially quite impressed when we found clean sheets, no overwhelming smells and no blood anywhere!
The best feature in our palatial suite was the back wall of the room, it was painted a pure bright red. That might put normal people off for seeming a bit shady, but when Boy and I had dreamt of our One Day home, we both agreed that there would definitely be a shrieking red wall somewhere.
It’s a powerful testament to the wonders of love, that what might be construed as a rundown dirty hellhole by some, was to us the most perfect little love nest.
The effect this had on me was that every mundane little thing I did there was somehow glamorised and made more meaningful because I was doing it in New York. I even enjoyed my two-hour journey on the subway all the way from 181st Street to JFK, to go fetch my Beautiful Boy. We took the subway back to Manhattan again as I was too lazy to figure out the buses, though it would’ve been a good sightseeing trip! But my Boy was there, and I didn’t want to look out at the city, (sap alert!) only into his eyes.
We checked into our “hotel” just off Time’s Square. We’d booked late and we were on a budget, let’s just say that the place was a little worse for wear. Our “room” was about the size of my suitcase, but we had our own little dingy “bathroom” for which I was thankful. We’d read horrible reviews of our “hotel” on tripadvisor, which was a great idea, as we were consequentially quite impressed when we found clean sheets, no overwhelming smells and no blood anywhere!
The best feature in our palatial suite was the back wall of the room, it was painted a pure bright red. That might put normal people off for seeming a bit shady, but when Boy and I had dreamt of our One Day home, we both agreed that there would definitely be a shrieking red wall somewhere.
It’s a powerful testament to the wonders of love, that what might be construed as a rundown dirty hellhole by some, was to us the most perfect little love nest.
32. in lieu of fall foliage
New York City didn’t steal my heart straight off the bat, but maybe that’s because my heart was already filled to overflowing when I arrived there. I was a bit disappointed the leaves weren’t turning yet, but one can’t stay mad at Mother Nature for long. Especially not when we’ve been messing with her for centuries? Besides, in lieu of fall foliage she gave us a fantastic couple of hot days, chilling out in Central Park with our Wholefoods sushi, Chop’t salads and Odwalla juice, checking out cute shirtless boys. Hey, I was in love, not completely blind!
Over the next couple of days my NYC-loving Lala escorted me all over the city of cities. As it was my first trip, we started with the more obvious things. I hope to one day return* and just stroll around, finding whatever piques my interest at the time.
Our home base was way up-town round 181st street, where Lala’s most accommodating ex Danny actually gave up his entire room to us, sleeping on the living room couch for two weeks! And people complain that New Yorkers aren’t friendly? Wow man, Dan deserves a medal.
Here’s my report on sightseeing NYC 101:
Times Square: Phenomenal
Radio City Music Hall: Razzmatazz
Rockefeller Centre Ice Rink: Cute
Empire State building: High
5th Avenue: H&M
Chrysler building: Pretty
Dunkin Donuts: Coffee & unglazed chocolate donut, mmm…
Fashion District: Cool
Flatiron building: Well-rounded
Dallas BBQs margaritas: Huge
Madison Square Garden: Famous
Bryant Park soup and sandwich combo: Healthy
Bleecker Street: Rocks
Magnolia cupcakes: Sweet
Marc Jacobs: Fab
Cloisters: Fake
George Washington Bridge: Skyline
Hudson River: Wet
Starbucks tall latte: Addictive
Ground Zero: Chilling
Century 21: Overrated
Grand Central Station: Gorgeous
West Village: Hip
Pastis burger and lager: Yum
14th Street: Awesome boots
Urban Outfitters: Trendy
Wholefoods tomato& basil soup: Heart warming
Union Square: Forever 21
Forever 21: Cheap + trendy = perfect.
And once I discovered Forever 21, I went AWOL for days…
*I have been lucky enough to return to NYC since then, but was on a whole other huge secret mission at the time so no strolls around Soho then either, sigh. More on that (for now) secret mission later.
Over the next couple of days my NYC-loving Lala escorted me all over the city of cities. As it was my first trip, we started with the more obvious things. I hope to one day return* and just stroll around, finding whatever piques my interest at the time.
Our home base was way up-town round 181st street, where Lala’s most accommodating ex Danny actually gave up his entire room to us, sleeping on the living room couch for two weeks! And people complain that New Yorkers aren’t friendly? Wow man, Dan deserves a medal.
Here’s my report on sightseeing NYC 101:
Times Square: Phenomenal
Radio City Music Hall: Razzmatazz
Rockefeller Centre Ice Rink: Cute
Empire State building: High
5th Avenue: H&M
Chrysler building: Pretty
Dunkin Donuts: Coffee & unglazed chocolate donut, mmm…
Fashion District: Cool
Flatiron building: Well-rounded
Dallas BBQs margaritas: Huge
Madison Square Garden: Famous
Bryant Park soup and sandwich combo: Healthy
Bleecker Street: Rocks
Magnolia cupcakes: Sweet
Marc Jacobs: Fab
Cloisters: Fake
George Washington Bridge: Skyline
Hudson River: Wet
Starbucks tall latte: Addictive
Ground Zero: Chilling
Century 21: Overrated
Grand Central Station: Gorgeous
West Village: Hip
Pastis burger and lager: Yum
14th Street: Awesome boots
Urban Outfitters: Trendy
Wholefoods tomato& basil soup: Heart warming
Union Square: Forever 21
Forever 21: Cheap + trendy = perfect.
And once I discovered Forever 21, I went AWOL for days…
*I have been lucky enough to return to NYC since then, but was on a whole other huge secret mission at the time so no strolls around Soho then either, sigh. More on that (for now) secret mission later.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
31. no
We didn't get married in Vegas.
We joked about it, I actually thought about it, we drove past a chapel or two, but alas... We said good bye at McCarran Int'l Airport (our third Airport farewell in as many months) and the opportunity for that particular crazy twist to see the light, got burnt up in the jet fuel of the Boeing that carried me on towards the Big Apple.
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